Late round Hit

Well, I was hit with a low blow in the late 2nd round. I was rolling along just fine, confidence high, and thinking "I've got this" when a late hit took me to the ground. My hair (well the little I had) was hurting. Everytime I touch it, put on Felicity (my wig), put on a bandana, or even just sitting there it was hurting. It is the equivilant of a million tiny needles on top of your head! Sounds like that Hellraiser movie with that needle head guy!! That is really the way it felt.
I decided at this point, that the half inch I was hanging on to was not worth it. Oh yeah, did I mention in a matter of 4 days the whole sides and back of my head were completely stipped of all but these little blonde hairs? I looked rediculous!
I asked Josh if he can please just get rid of it all...you know that band-aid analogy from before. He starts shaving it down. I was fine...at first. Then pain hit at an all time high. I am unsure even to this day which was worse, the physical pain of my hairs or the emotional pain of the 'this is really it you are sick' feeling that I had. I was so calm and cool through all of the other times (cutting it short, cutting it to 1/2 inch).
I think it was a mixture of this:
1. Pain (it hurt more than anything that has happened to me so far-surgeries included)
2. Emotional plunge (I have held myself together pretty well through this process. I try to look for the greater good in all of the caios, but not this day. Every negative emotion came in like a tsunami and just decided to not only wash out but destroy every positive thought I ever had)
3. Vanity (I am not really a very vain person-I don't think, but this was it. I looked like what I would consider a train wreck. I still have some hair on top because it was too painful to take off completely. I have moles all over my head that I never knew about. I looked in the mirror and forgot-for a second- that I was a woman!! Very depressing...
It was an all time low to this day. It was pretty much in effect the whole day. Now we all know that life doesn't always stop to let you have a bad day, so I cried and cried hard alone there in the shower. I cleaned myself up and dried my eyes and got my game face on for the rest of the day. When the day was done I was emotionally drained of everything. I felt like a sick person for the day- self pity, self doubt, and even some anger about what was happening. I felt like everyone was staring at me in that stupid bandana and looking at me like "Oh poor thing".
Now I am telling you this now, several days later, because I am over this low. I did feel all of those emotions on that day, but today like I always say is a new one and we choose each day how we will be. Like the turning of the page in my life's book that day is gone and I am not going to look back!

A very intelligent woman I know once told me that "Having bad days isn't failure...it's moving your furniture into your bad days and thinking that is where you have to stay that is the problem." (You know who you are...if you are reading this thank you for another great piece of advice and a wonderful quote to live by)

Music is a huge piece of why I have been able to tackle many of lifes ups and downs. It has helped me through numerous problems. I listen to it or sing it and feel calm and centered again. Some don't understand why I need to listen to the same depressing song over and over. For me it isn't depressing it is a way of feeling whatever it is at the moment and acknowledging it, feeling it, and then eventually letting go. There are many older songs to this day that when played remind me of periods of my life. I not only have a book of my life but a soundrack and maybe one day a movie!!! :) There is a particular song by Sugarland that has some new meaning so if you get a chance check it out.
It is the last song on the Twice the Speed of Life album "Go ahead and take your best shot. Let her rip give it all you got. Lay down on the floor but i've been here before. I may stumble yeah I might fall. Only human but aren't we all. i might lose my way, but hear me when I say. I will stand back up, you'll know just the moment when I've had enough. sometimes i'm afraid and I don't feel that tough, but I'll stand back up."
anyway check it out!! Gotta go. Round 3 starts on Wednesday...wish me luck!