When you hear the 3 words, 'You have cancer', it truly is a whirlwind of emotions. I often talk about the after effects of these 3 words. It amazes me still the power that these words have over us. They stop us cold in our tracks, they tear apart families, and they strike fear in most who hear them. The reactions vary from sympathy, pity, fear, even complete chaos.
When the person hearing those words makes the CHOICE to have faith, well...that is when things start happening. It is easy for us all to say we have faith but when you are hitting the point of wanting to give up... what would you do? Many will give up, many WILL fight, and many WILL have faith in something bigger than themselves. It is YOUR CHOICE!
My faith has taken me through some of the darkest times in my life. I have been tested over and over again my resolve to be positive no matter what and to have faith in God's plan. I have not always been successful in the tests but one thing that never changes i get up and try again each time. Many of us struggle each day with the challenges in our lives and we tend to only focus on those challenges that we have. It is like we are in a tunnel of pure darkness. In my last marathon this actually happened and it really is a great analogy of life. I went in the dark tunnel with nothing but my tiny light on my head. If I stayed with others like me, that had the same plan, there was more light. We together were able to shine more light. Then just as you thought...'this is scary in here and how long do i need to do this' there it was a dot of light. As we continued down our difficult path of rocks that could make us fall, darkness, water dripping, and cold temperatures we see this light. It grew and grew. We pushed and pushed and then finally there it was light. We run out of the tunnel to the most beautiful WA scenery. For the next 23 miles I was thankful for the beauty but thankful for this lesson. Never lose hope, never stop moving forward, surround yourself with people that have inner light, and never give up on yourself! You are capable of WAY more than you give yourselves credit for.
All this being said today is the day. Anxiety, fear, and stress all hitting me like a truck. It is the dreaded 4mo check up!!! I have almost made it 3 years free of cancer but this day makes me feel as if I am hearing the 3 words all over again. Last time I felt no different after I heard the words than before I heard them (well physically that is). Each time I go in feeling as if I am going to fail an exam. Here is the thing, the 3 words change your life when you hear them, but they are scarred in your mind for the rest of your life too! I have many scars from this journey I have traveled and each remind me daily of the amazing things I have accomplished. Yes, I still have anxiety, but bottom line the 3 words have already been spoken, so there is nothing left to fear. I will live to help others, I will live to make a difference, and... I WILL JUST LIVE. I will not go through life being afraid to try something. I will live each day the same as the day I heard the 3 words for the first time. It does not change just because the 2nd word is different. YOU HAVE CANCER or YOU HAD CANCER....live no different. Just don't forget to enjoy the beauty that surrounds you EVERYDAY! Be thankful each day for something :)
Now...wish me luck that that pesky 2nd word stays at HAD!!!!
Off I go :)
