Well my son is officially a first grader today and I am officially another year older (as of yesterday). What a crazy 30th year I had. I expected it to be painful to turn 30 but that.....woah! 31 will be much better. As for my son, all day at school with lunch and 2 recesses....life is good for us today!
Life just has that way of going on doesn't it? Wether you want it to or not the days keep rolling. I am having an especially hard time returning to work this year. The worst part is I really love my job, but I love my kids much more. I figured by the end of summer I would be ready (like I was last year) to return to my part time job. Nope no luck. I have said many times before, I feel like a different person dropped off in my old life and trying to make the two match up again...it's harder than I thought. Believe it or not I miss the fighting, the constant taxi cab that I drove, and worrying about what to make for dinner. I hate that I am not there. I have figured out the best scenerio that I can for my hours (which are pretty flexible) and I am hoping that I will get over this as we move into the new year. Change is still hard for anyone, even someone who has been through a billion of them the last year.
I will stick to my motto of "Keep moving forward" and be hopefull that something big is waiting for me just around the corner. I will never get to the corner if I don't keep moving right....I feel it is close, but time will tell. Have a great first day back!!! (unless you never stopped) :)
The Diary of the Bald Woman
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I'M BAAAAACK!!!!!!!!
Did you miss me???
The vacation was AMAZING! It will be hard to give you the highlights because all of it truely was great....but it true BW fashion I will break it down to our highlights!
1. The Drive: Ok, so I knew we were going far...I wanted to go just a bit further than we would normally go...well...let's just say it was about 10 HOURS door to door! Wait wait wait...this includes stopping, the countless potty breaks for our children (all 5 of which ranged from 15 months to 8). To top that fabulous drive off our DVD player broke on the last trip! We attempted to buy another but the one we wanted....SOLD OUT. What do you do??? To my great amazement (which always seems to happen with these kids)they...were fine. Oh what did we do before DVD??? I will tell you....read, sleep, play, talk, and FIGHT! And that....is what they did for a whopping total of 20 HOURS!
2. The Rental Home: WOW! I knew this house would be amazing...that is why I chose it. Pictures do not do justice to the craftsmanship and uniqueness that went into building this home. There were fossils in the wall, trees growing through the house, and everything was eco friendly. The setting couldn't have been more perfect with a creek for a backyard, firepit for roasting, sauna for relaxing, and hammock to lay around in all day. We had the street lined with fresh blackberries we could pick and eat each day...wow! Now that all being said....here is the humor.... ok we get there to our 3 bedroom home for our 3 families and the 2 upstairs are amazing...beds hang from the ceiling and really cool. The house talks of the loft with a king bed, double bed, and futon....all true TECHNICALLY! The "LOFT" is mattresses on the floor in the top of each bedroom with a head clearance of 3 feet (maybe). You go in each room and climb a tree to get to it and then IF and only IF you can get up there you are right in the bedroom of your friend or family....Well you might say...hey I thought there was a 3rd bedroom you should just take that....We did but it also doubled as our only room to watch TV! We pulled a mattress out of the loft brought it down and 2 of our family slept on the floor and 2 on the wonderful Couch/Fouton! Oh the memories we make!
3. The Drive to the Home: This is actually a separate highlight. The drive was just reffering to the time to get to Coos Bay....the home wasn't exactly in Coos Bay per say... We drove for 45 minutes on a dirt road past ALL civilization, STORES, and CELL SERVICE! We decided before we left to bring the "dry goods" with us and then hit the store to get the stuff that couldn't make the drive. Well, we did not anticipate our lack of desire to return to town after the 45 minute drive on narrow gravel road at 20 mph.....so our "First Feast" was cheese sticks, yogurt, snack crackers and the adults ate salami and cheese sandwiches on the half of loaf of bread we had....ahhh the memories made!
4. The Waterfalls: This was amazing...there were several trails you could take to hike. We took them all. My favorite however was the last one on the last day...We hiked to 5200 feet to the top of the waterfall we had been looking at. it really reminded me of what I have been doing this last 6 months..The road was long, at times hard (especially carrying a 2 year old), and we were often unsure....but when we reached the top.....that is when it became worth it all! The pictures once again will not show the beauty that I saw that day and the feeling I had looking at those two mountains that I just climbed. It was so inspiring to me and hope to everyone else that was with us!
5. The Change: Another wonderful highlight for me was watching our video game and tv junkie children discover the "playground" they were living in. They went from not really knowing what to do outside to never being in. They created games, discovered nature (slugs, snakes, and crayfish), and were in the creek exploring. This transformation was priceless!
6. "ROD" Survivor Man: OMG...this was by far the funniest....My husband transformed into a survivalist on this trip along with the other guys. BUT my husband had a headband (the bandana) and a Stick that he was trying to carve with his fillet knife (because I failed to buy him a "Big Rambo Sized Knife" when I went to the store the first day...oh yeah it was Safeway by the way) This turned into a nickname that was origianlly for his stick but now his name...ROD SURVIVIOR MAN!!
Well there are a million other funny and priceless memories that I could have shared but these by far are the highlights....
It was a privilage to go on such a great vacation with my sister and fam and my best friends and fam. I had a great time and I look forward to making some more crazy memories on our next trip. I don't know, however, if any of them will allow ME to choose our destination agaian??????? Have a Memorable day everyone!
The vacation was AMAZING! It will be hard to give you the highlights because all of it truely was great....but it true BW fashion I will break it down to our highlights!
1. The Drive: Ok, so I knew we were going far...I wanted to go just a bit further than we would normally go...well...let's just say it was about 10 HOURS door to door! Wait wait wait...this includes stopping, the countless potty breaks for our children (all 5 of which ranged from 15 months to 8). To top that fabulous drive off our DVD player broke on the last trip! We attempted to buy another but the one we wanted....SOLD OUT. What do you do??? To my great amazement (which always seems to happen with these kids)they...were fine. Oh what did we do before DVD??? I will tell you....read, sleep, play, talk, and FIGHT! And that....is what they did for a whopping total of 20 HOURS!
2. The Rental Home: WOW! I knew this house would be amazing...that is why I chose it. Pictures do not do justice to the craftsmanship and uniqueness that went into building this home. There were fossils in the wall, trees growing through the house, and everything was eco friendly. The setting couldn't have been more perfect with a creek for a backyard, firepit for roasting, sauna for relaxing, and hammock to lay around in all day. We had the street lined with fresh blackberries we could pick and eat each day...wow! Now that all being said....here is the humor.... ok we get there to our 3 bedroom home for our 3 families and the 2 upstairs are amazing...beds hang from the ceiling and really cool. The house talks of the loft with a king bed, double bed, and futon....all true TECHNICALLY! The "LOFT" is mattresses on the floor in the top of each bedroom with a head clearance of 3 feet (maybe). You go in each room and climb a tree to get to it and then IF and only IF you can get up there you are right in the bedroom of your friend or family....Well you might say...hey I thought there was a 3rd bedroom you should just take that....We did but it also doubled as our only room to watch TV! We pulled a mattress out of the loft brought it down and 2 of our family slept on the floor and 2 on the wonderful Couch/Fouton! Oh the memories we make!
3. The Drive to the Home: This is actually a separate highlight. The drive was just reffering to the time to get to Coos Bay....the home wasn't exactly in Coos Bay per say... We drove for 45 minutes on a dirt road past ALL civilization, STORES, and CELL SERVICE! We decided before we left to bring the "dry goods" with us and then hit the store to get the stuff that couldn't make the drive. Well, we did not anticipate our lack of desire to return to town after the 45 minute drive on narrow gravel road at 20 mph.....so our "First Feast" was cheese sticks, yogurt, snack crackers and the adults ate salami and cheese sandwiches on the half of loaf of bread we had....ahhh the memories made!
4. The Waterfalls: This was amazing...there were several trails you could take to hike. We took them all. My favorite however was the last one on the last day...We hiked to 5200 feet to the top of the waterfall we had been looking at. it really reminded me of what I have been doing this last 6 months..The road was long, at times hard (especially carrying a 2 year old), and we were often unsure....but when we reached the top.....that is when it became worth it all! The pictures once again will not show the beauty that I saw that day and the feeling I had looking at those two mountains that I just climbed. It was so inspiring to me and hope to everyone else that was with us!
5. The Change: Another wonderful highlight for me was watching our video game and tv junkie children discover the "playground" they were living in. They went from not really knowing what to do outside to never being in. They created games, discovered nature (slugs, snakes, and crayfish), and were in the creek exploring. This transformation was priceless!
6. "ROD" Survivor Man: OMG...this was by far the funniest....My husband transformed into a survivalist on this trip along with the other guys. BUT my husband had a headband (the bandana) and a Stick that he was trying to carve with his fillet knife (because I failed to buy him a "Big Rambo Sized Knife" when I went to the store the first day...oh yeah it was Safeway by the way) This turned into a nickname that was origianlly for his stick but now his name...ROD SURVIVIOR MAN!!
Well there are a million other funny and priceless memories that I could have shared but these by far are the highlights....
It was a privilage to go on such a great vacation with my sister and fam and my best friends and fam. I had a great time and I look forward to making some more crazy memories on our next trip. I don't know, however, if any of them will allow ME to choose our destination agaian??????? Have a Memorable day everyone!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Got Cancer??
NOPE!!!!
As I am sure you could imagine this is my focus for the next few days. I will apologize now for going on about it, but so much of my life has been wrapped up in cancer that now I have to celebrate and then move on. Bigger and better things are waiting for me right around the corner. This is actually the time when it is hitting me the most (what I just endured). I think that being a survivor is great, wonderful in fact, but it is difficult to explain. I feel like a different person dumped back into my old life. I just have to re-prioritize things again and undoubtedly I view things differently. Anyone remember Office Space after he gets hypnotized???? :)
Here is the other funny part, I am not scared anymore of things. I guess it's because you have just pumped crap in your body, brushed closer to death than most, and you see your strength in action! I don't mean I want to go take crazy risks or anything like that, just not going to live life afraid to do what I want! I want to have a life full of memories to share and to leave all those around me long after I go. I am not afraid to try new things or to follow what my heart is telling me is right! NO FEAR!!!(They really should bring those shirts back!! Just kidding)
The biggest change I have seen happen is the more positive I have become in my life the more things have gone well. Attitude is everything. We are going on a nice, well deserved, and relaxing vacation on Saturday....can't wait. I am so thankful for having had cancer (OK chill out) Here is why....I have an opportunity to do what I have always wanted to do help people. What an honor. The lessons that I have now can help change a large portion of my life not just the last few years. Lastly, I am truly happier right now believe it or not!
Have a wonderful day...check out the George Strait song called "The Breaths You Take" ....really good song to help everyone remember what is important in life!!!!(I may have posted this one before, but chemo brain has got me down at the moment still)
Great quote today too.....
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
Muhammad Ali
As I am sure you could imagine this is my focus for the next few days. I will apologize now for going on about it, but so much of my life has been wrapped up in cancer that now I have to celebrate and then move on. Bigger and better things are waiting for me right around the corner. This is actually the time when it is hitting me the most (what I just endured). I think that being a survivor is great, wonderful in fact, but it is difficult to explain. I feel like a different person dumped back into my old life. I just have to re-prioritize things again and undoubtedly I view things differently. Anyone remember Office Space after he gets hypnotized???? :)
Here is the other funny part, I am not scared anymore of things. I guess it's because you have just pumped crap in your body, brushed closer to death than most, and you see your strength in action! I don't mean I want to go take crazy risks or anything like that, just not going to live life afraid to do what I want! I want to have a life full of memories to share and to leave all those around me long after I go. I am not afraid to try new things or to follow what my heart is telling me is right! NO FEAR!!!(They really should bring those shirts back!! Just kidding)
The biggest change I have seen happen is the more positive I have become in my life the more things have gone well. Attitude is everything. We are going on a nice, well deserved, and relaxing vacation on Saturday....can't wait. I am so thankful for having had cancer (OK chill out) Here is why....I have an opportunity to do what I have always wanted to do help people. What an honor. The lessons that I have now can help change a large portion of my life not just the last few years. Lastly, I am truly happier right now believe it or not!
Have a wonderful day...check out the George Strait song called "The Breaths You Take" ....really good song to help everyone remember what is important in life!!!!(I may have posted this one before, but chemo brain has got me down at the moment still)
Great quote today too.....
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
Muhammad Ali
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
A Survivor Today
Today is the day I have been waiting for
it is the one in which I say I have cancer no more
I have had pain, tears, and moments of doubt
been pushed, beaten, and done without
I have had great joy, laughter, and moments love
seen peace and happiness sent from above
I have learned to let life come as it is but never give up
keep your head high and look at the half full cup
Strength is what you get when you have no other choice
It's when you rise to the top and become the one with the voice
I am so happy today the doctors are gone
With a new outlook I will continue to be strong
I hope, I pray, and I live life this way
I am a CANCER SURVIVOR TODAY!
it is the one in which I say I have cancer no more
I have had pain, tears, and moments of doubt
been pushed, beaten, and done without
I have had great joy, laughter, and moments love
seen peace and happiness sent from above
I have learned to let life come as it is but never give up
keep your head high and look at the half full cup
Strength is what you get when you have no other choice
It's when you rise to the top and become the one with the voice
I am so happy today the doctors are gone
With a new outlook I will continue to be strong
I hope, I pray, and I live life this way
I am a CANCER SURVIVOR TODAY!
Monday, August 16, 2010
PInk Party
Well the PINK PARTY was great. I had a chance to thank everyone who supported me throughout this journey! I had a great time and love every second of so many guys that never would wear pink...wearing pink. I showed off the pink toilet and even raised the Friends of the Bald Woman's first bank entry!!! The best part was seeing so many wonderful people come together and be so positive about something so.... fill in your own word there! We had pink drinks, pink food, and pink stuff everywhere. It was so fun you better save your shirts because I am going to do it again as an annual party. Friends of the Bald Woman has a scrapbook of anyone that donates and wants their picture in the book. The "Friends Flushing" will travel with the toilet. We may even put it on lawns and have people pay to get it off the yard!! Big plans ahead...the traveling toilet, the MOM PROM, breast cancer month is coming up too, and of course planning the next pink party (that will be held somewhere larger). Let's hope for a great first year!
Thank you again to each and every one of you who helped this journey to be more bearable. I know you will never know the difference you have made on my life but I am changed forever. It is your love and support that helped me and has now driven me to show that same feeling to as many others as possible. Nobody should have to do this alone!
Have a Pink-a-licious day!!!
49, by the way, is how many times I went and had some form of poison given to me to get better. If win after that...your never gonna take me out!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Scarred
I am scarred from head to toe
some of which nobody will know
I've been beaten and tossed about
so low you couldn't hear me shout
I have climbed a mountain that was so high
pushed and pushed to touch that sky
I am at the top with the most amazing view
looking out at a beauty that is true
I have changed on this monumental climb
My soul now is ready to shine
Share with all this great glory
and give them all a wonderful story
I am scarred still from head to toe
but I have more than you'll ever know
some of which nobody will know
I've been beaten and tossed about
so low you couldn't hear me shout
I have climbed a mountain that was so high
pushed and pushed to touch that sky
I am at the top with the most amazing view
looking out at a beauty that is true
I have changed on this monumental climb
My soul now is ready to shine
Share with all this great glory
and give them all a wonderful story
I am scarred still from head to toe
but I have more than you'll ever know
Insurance
Here is the dilemma of the day. Is it better to have 2 insurances just in case (but have none of your paycheck) OR have 1 good insurance and pay your co pays as needed (but keep a LOT more of your money each month)????
Remember I HAVE HAD CANCER!!! I have now seen the benefits of multiple insurances!!! When it costs anywhere from 20,000 plus for items on your insurance claims you start to think of this much more!!! I wish I knew if this was gone forever!!! Where is a good old blood test when you need it!?
Remember I HAVE HAD CANCER!!! I have now seen the benefits of multiple insurances!!! When it costs anywhere from 20,000 plus for items on your insurance claims you start to think of this much more!!! I wish I knew if this was gone forever!!! Where is a good old blood test when you need it!?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
FBW
Friends of the Bald Woman (FBW) is coming along nicely....We will be having our first mini-event at my PINK PARTY on Saturday. I am going to bring out the pink toilet and see what happens. I have a book for all those that want their picture taken on the pink toilet. There will be a donation fee for the pic and hopefully Friends of the Bald Woman will be rolling! The master business app is in and paid for so now we wait again! Why is my life so full of hurry hurry hurry and WAIT WAIT WAIT!?
Next plans, fill out the Charitable org and then have our first board meeting. We need a website. I have friends of the bald woman bracelets that I will sell and the little plaques too. We will have fundraisers throughout the year and I can't wait to get some media coverage on this pink toilet...thanks Sasha for your great idea :)
Once the money starts to come in we can start collaborating with house cleaners and food places to actually start helping people! Watch out world here we come! Anyone friends with Oprah??? Elen??? anyone famous??? :)
have a great day and smile at 15 people today!!!!
Next plans, fill out the Charitable org and then have our first board meeting. We need a website. I have friends of the bald woman bracelets that I will sell and the little plaques too. We will have fundraisers throughout the year and I can't wait to get some media coverage on this pink toilet...thanks Sasha for your great idea :)
Once the money starts to come in we can start collaborating with house cleaners and food places to actually start helping people! Watch out world here we come! Anyone friends with Oprah??? Elen??? anyone famous??? :)
have a great day and smile at 15 people today!!!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Back to work today
Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
Carl Sagan
Are you the something? Maybe it is the Friends of the Bald Woman???
I hope so. I have invested some of my own money in this business and I really want to see it work. I am filling out the last two sets of registrations (there are 3 places in which you have to pay and register....wouldn't it be easier with just one?) then the tax exemption...this is the one I am worried about. It appears to be more money than I have to pay for. If that is the case....there may be no Friends of the Bald Woman?? That would break my heart, but I have to pay my bills and feed my kids first. I am hoping to figure this out very soon.
On a lighter note... I ran 4.5 miles yesterday with increased speed and what felt effortless again! I am so happy about this. It was the first run in a year that has felt so...healthy! I have 7 more zaps or "tanning sessions" and I am a free woman. Pink party is in less than one week and I am very excited to have everyone together to thank!
Better run now. I am back to work today and the summer of fun is officially drawing to a close. I do have one vacation planned before school officially starts, but I am going to be working every other day till then. I love my job. I really don't mind working, but I think today that it is that changing routines again that bugs me. I will get back in a new swing, but summer...It just went too fast and I didn't get to really enjoy all of it. Radiation everyday kind of takes over summer....the good note is I did get to spend some great times with my kids.
Carl Sagan
Are you the something? Maybe it is the Friends of the Bald Woman???
I hope so. I have invested some of my own money in this business and I really want to see it work. I am filling out the last two sets of registrations (there are 3 places in which you have to pay and register....wouldn't it be easier with just one?) then the tax exemption...this is the one I am worried about. It appears to be more money than I have to pay for. If that is the case....there may be no Friends of the Bald Woman?? That would break my heart, but I have to pay my bills and feed my kids first. I am hoping to figure this out very soon.
On a lighter note... I ran 4.5 miles yesterday with increased speed and what felt effortless again! I am so happy about this. It was the first run in a year that has felt so...healthy! I have 7 more zaps or "tanning sessions" and I am a free woman. Pink party is in less than one week and I am very excited to have everyone together to thank!
Better run now. I am back to work today and the summer of fun is officially drawing to a close. I do have one vacation planned before school officially starts, but I am going to be working every other day till then. I love my job. I really don't mind working, but I think today that it is that changing routines again that bugs me. I will get back in a new swing, but summer...It just went too fast and I didn't get to really enjoy all of it. Radiation everyday kind of takes over summer....the good note is I did get to spend some great times with my kids.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Music
Life is like a trumpet - if you don't put anything into it, you don't get anything out of it.
William Christopher Handy
Ahhh music...it soothes the soul! This, for those who do not know, really is one of my top two favorite things in life. I love to dance too, so dance music....ahhh love it! Music tells a story, reminds you of the past, or helps guide you through a difficult time in life. I can't tell you how many times I have been helped by someone else's words. No preference... just anything that moves me physically or emotionally.
Ironically, I feel this quote of the day today. It is almost as if the great quotes are speaking to me (no I am not going crazy)...LOL or maybe I am just finding meaning in EVERYTHING these days (ha ha). The more I have put into making my life more positive centered, honestly, the more fulfilled I have become. Even my everyday life with or without cancer is just happier. (This is with the exception of yesterday when I was running around town, shuttling kids, listening to them argue about who is going to tattle first, and coaching 12 soccer kiddos ages 5-7!!!) My life can get crazy...most of the time it is really....but I love it and wouldn't change a thing! Nobody...not even me... is Susy Sunshine all the time! My life has been far from easy so far (and that is the 1st 30 years :) they are supposed to be a breeze). Now my next 30 years will really allow me to have the "Better" not "Worse" part of my vows! Right??? Oh well either way...I will keep smiling, laughing, and attempting to be the "half full" girl!!! You are supposed to be the change you wish to see....
OK so round about way back to music. I heard a song the other day called "The breaths you take" (I think). Anyway, George Strait...great song. Google it!
Put in as much as you can and see what life gives you! Make some music today!
William Christopher Handy
Ahhh music...it soothes the soul! This, for those who do not know, really is one of my top two favorite things in life. I love to dance too, so dance music....ahhh love it! Music tells a story, reminds you of the past, or helps guide you through a difficult time in life. I can't tell you how many times I have been helped by someone else's words. No preference... just anything that moves me physically or emotionally.
Ironically, I feel this quote of the day today. It is almost as if the great quotes are speaking to me (no I am not going crazy)...LOL or maybe I am just finding meaning in EVERYTHING these days (ha ha). The more I have put into making my life more positive centered, honestly, the more fulfilled I have become. Even my everyday life with or without cancer is just happier. (This is with the exception of yesterday when I was running around town, shuttling kids, listening to them argue about who is going to tattle first, and coaching 12 soccer kiddos ages 5-7!!!) My life can get crazy...most of the time it is really....but I love it and wouldn't change a thing! Nobody...not even me... is Susy Sunshine all the time! My life has been far from easy so far (and that is the 1st 30 years :) they are supposed to be a breeze). Now my next 30 years will really allow me to have the "Better" not "Worse" part of my vows! Right??? Oh well either way...I will keep smiling, laughing, and attempting to be the "half full" girl!!! You are supposed to be the change you wish to see....
OK so round about way back to music. I heard a song the other day called "The breaths you take" (I think). Anyway, George Strait...great song. Google it!
Put in as much as you can and see what life gives you! Make some music today!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Pain
Pain today...yeah I know you don't hear much from me about pain (unless you are my husband). Not the worst pain, but still sucks. It just feels "tight" or maybe swollen?? No blistering as of yet!!! Running is less than comfortable right now (must be the bouncing). I even did double sports bras....oh well. They deserve all this pain for trying to take me out!!! As you can see we(my girls and I) are still having issues with this previous attempt on my life....trying to move past it but feeling a bit untrusting of their future motives. As I have said numerous times before though...I will win and I am unafraid to try anything to win this battle!!! So far....they have nothing on me except some hair loss and that my friends is on it's way back!
I am 8 visits away from becoming a survivior not a patient and I will take any pain I possibly can to not extend this crap. Because that is what it is crap! I should just go work at Hanford (the nuclear plant) and at least I would be paid to radiate myself!! :)
The Friends of the Bald Woman non-profit is on its way to becoming a household name!!! Paperwork is in process, board of directors is bieng assembled, ideas are rolling, and facebook page up and going. Yeah facebookers for having over 40 friends in 4 hours!!! I realize that I am not really bald anymore but I am forever changed by this and so really hair or no hair I will always now be the Bald Woman. I am excited to be able to pay forward all the great things that so many people did for us. Too many cancer patients have nobody to help them through this difficult experience and Friends of the Bald Woman are they to be the "Friend" they need.
I am 8 visits away from becoming a survivior not a patient and I will take any pain I possibly can to not extend this crap. Because that is what it is crap! I should just go work at Hanford (the nuclear plant) and at least I would be paid to radiate myself!! :)
The Friends of the Bald Woman non-profit is on its way to becoming a household name!!! Paperwork is in process, board of directors is bieng assembled, ideas are rolling, and facebook page up and going. Yeah facebookers for having over 40 friends in 4 hours!!! I realize that I am not really bald anymore but I am forever changed by this and so really hair or no hair I will always now be the Bald Woman. I am excited to be able to pay forward all the great things that so many people did for us. Too many cancer patients have nobody to help them through this difficult experience and Friends of the Bald Woman are they to be the "Friend" they need.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My Survival Song
Thank you Gloria Gaynor for your inspirational song...here is my take
At first I was afraid I was petrified
wondring how I would make it out of this alive
And I spent so many nights
thinking I was all alone
But I was wrong
And I learned how to carry on
And now I'm back better than before
Oh I kicked your butt now turn around and walk out of that door
Don't you come back for more and don't you come knockin on my door
I am strong and now i've beat you once before
So Go, walk out the door
Don't come back now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
I have more power than you know
I have more stength I tell you so
you think I'll crumble
Well the answer is always no
Oh no, not I
I will survive
I am strong and I am tough and
I have more friends on my side
I've got all my life to live
I've got so much now to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
Hey Hey
At first I was afraid I was petrified
wondring how I would make it out of this alive
And I spent so many nights
thinking I was all alone
But I was wrong
And I learned how to carry on
And now I'm back better than before
Oh I kicked your butt now turn around and walk out of that door
Don't you come back for more and don't you come knockin on my door
I am strong and now i've beat you once before
So Go, walk out the door
Don't come back now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
I have more power than you know
I have more stength I tell you so
you think I'll crumble
Well the answer is always no
Oh no, not I
I will survive
I am strong and I am tough and
I have more friends on my side
I've got all my life to live
I've got so much now to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
Hey Hey
See the light
It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.
Aristotle Onassis
When you can see this light at the end of a very dark tunnel it makes it bearable. I think that little light is what helped me to make it through this mess.There were moments when that light is all I saw and moments when it was very hard to see. I guess I just never let go of it. There were times I wanted to quit (like I really had a choice). There were times I wanted to scream and cry (such a drama queen I know). Then there were the times that were so overwhelming that making a joke is all you can do to not lose it. In two weeks to this day I will be done with all treatments and move on to a pill for five years. It then and only then I will call myself a "survivor". It happens to be my daughters 3rd birthday too...I consider it my Re-birthday!!
"Survivor" is a funny word though. I mean to me it seems like if I was in some natural disaster or plane crash then I could come out saying, "I survived". This...I don't know. Here is the dictionary definition.
sur·vive (sr-vv)
v. sur·vived, sur·viv·ing, sur·vives
v.intr.
1. To remain alive or in existence.
2. To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere:
3. To remain functional or usable:
4. To live longer than; outlive:
5. To live, persist, or remain usable through:
6. To cope with (a trauma or setback); persevere after
Even though I don't feel as if I have "done" anything to earn this title I will take it and wear it with pride. I feel as if I have remained alive...OK good so has everyone reading this. As for the others on the list, well we all deal with trauma and we are forced through difficulties even you go kicking and screaming. I guess according to this I am a survivor. Anyone can be a survivor but me.... I survived with style!!! :)
There is great power in each of us that most people don't even know they have. The challenge today is find your gift, the thing that makes you happy no matter what kind of mood your in and then....Don't let go!
Aristotle Onassis
When you can see this light at the end of a very dark tunnel it makes it bearable. I think that little light is what helped me to make it through this mess.There were moments when that light is all I saw and moments when it was very hard to see. I guess I just never let go of it. There were times I wanted to quit (like I really had a choice). There were times I wanted to scream and cry (such a drama queen I know). Then there were the times that were so overwhelming that making a joke is all you can do to not lose it. In two weeks to this day I will be done with all treatments and move on to a pill for five years. It then and only then I will call myself a "survivor". It happens to be my daughters 3rd birthday too...I consider it my Re-birthday!!
"Survivor" is a funny word though. I mean to me it seems like if I was in some natural disaster or plane crash then I could come out saying, "I survived". This...I don't know. Here is the dictionary definition.
sur·vive (sr-vv)
v. sur·vived, sur·viv·ing, sur·vives
v.intr.
1. To remain alive or in existence.
2. To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere:
3. To remain functional or usable:
4. To live longer than; outlive:
5. To live, persist, or remain usable through:
6. To cope with (a trauma or setback); persevere after
Even though I don't feel as if I have "done" anything to earn this title I will take it and wear it with pride. I feel as if I have remained alive...OK good so has everyone reading this. As for the others on the list, well we all deal with trauma and we are forced through difficulties even you go kicking and screaming. I guess according to this I am a survivor. Anyone can be a survivor but me.... I survived with style!!! :)
There is great power in each of us that most people don't even know they have. The challenge today is find your gift, the thing that makes you happy no matter what kind of mood your in and then....Don't let go!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Big plans
What a week. I am not sure which life I enjoy more....the one where I am shuttling kids to dance, coaching soccer, watching baseball, or the one where we sit and enjoy doing nothing. I guess as my daughter says it needs to be "the best of both worlds"!
Big plans for Think Pink...we are hopefully going to be non-profit witin the week (or at least our app will be processed). I am going to call the foundation "Friends of the Bald Woman". Now those who know me know I am not bald anymore, but "The Bald Woman" is really who I am now....the same me but changed! We will be helping people locally that can't afford co-pays, treatments, loss of work wages, food, housecleaning! I hope that we can give these guys the hope that I had during this phase of life. If we can reduce the stress of life then they can really focus on the best part....kicking this disease in the a**!
Other big plans the Thank you Think Pink Party will be in a few weeks. This will hopefully thank all those wonderful people that helped out along the way!
Big plans for Think Pink...we are hopefully going to be non-profit witin the week (or at least our app will be processed). I am going to call the foundation "Friends of the Bald Woman". Now those who know me know I am not bald anymore, but "The Bald Woman" is really who I am now....the same me but changed! We will be helping people locally that can't afford co-pays, treatments, loss of work wages, food, housecleaning! I hope that we can give these guys the hope that I had during this phase of life. If we can reduce the stress of life then they can really focus on the best part....kicking this disease in the a**!
Other big plans the Thank you Think Pink Party will be in a few weeks. This will hopefully thank all those wonderful people that helped out along the way!
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