The only way to predict the future is to have power to shape the future.---Eric Hoffer
Does anyone have a bucket list?? This quote today makes me think of them. If we want to predict our futures so badly, then why not be a part of making it. How do we make it you may ask??? Know what you want!If you don't know where you are going, then how do you know when you get there?
I have one. Who knows if I actually will do everything on it but I am going to spend the rest of my life trying! I think they are great for knowing what you want out of life. My last few years by most people's standards has kind of sucked. I mean we have had job losses, my cancer battle, now another layoff but it hasn't taken our happiness from us. sure there are days when I am not sure what will happen next, but in the end I am still here waking up. I don't know when that will end so....better make the most of it right!? If we look at each day as a gift, how can you be not thankful for the day instead of complaining about it!?
My bucket list has lots of travel destinations. Clearly in the middle of a layoff I am not going to be checking any of those off, but stranger things have happened. I purposely put things on there that were just out of reach. If they were all things I could do it wouldn't be a bucket list it would be a To do list! One day I hope to complete these items and check them off one at a time but for now....we wait and enjoy the path to getting them. Who knows something I never knew I wanted may pop up on my way to doing these things. Look at my writing. I never saw myself as a writer and now it something I couldn't stop if I tried. It makes me happy and I hope someone reads it and gets a few laughs here and there.
Make a list if you haven't. What do you want to see or do before your time is up? My list is very long and i keep adding to it but I thought I would give you a few to get you started.....
Skydive
See NYC
Renew vows on an island barefoot
Meet Oprah and Ellen
Have my book published
That's all I am gonna give you today, sorry....I will let you know if I check any of them off!!! Have a great day and don't forget to enjoy the journey because it is really better than the destination!
The Diary of the Bald Woman
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Got a case of the Monday's???
Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.
Lorraine Hansberry
This quote really fits today. I have been laying low for the last few months. I quit my job only to take another and now focused on doing well and creating a new balance yet again. Thinking is all I seem to do these days. Am I being a good mom, friend, wife, worker?? I am constantly trying to make all of these people happy and often get lost myself in that process. Still thinking about that!
Oh Monday. The most hated day of the week. Everyone seems to hate this day because it is a back to reality kind of feeling from the weekend. this Monday will be my least favorite day but for a completely different reason. This Monday my life gets jacked up again.....................
Today is the day I have been dreading. Today is the day my husband comes home with a big fat layoff packet and life as I know it has to change again. I get a bit tired of the changes but I have no choice but to roll with them. I am afraid but yet in my heart I know that something is not too far around the corner. Maybe he will get a job on an island and I can check off #14 from my bucket list???? We really seem to have had some crazy luck....layoffs, cancer, layoffs again. I really need a miracle at this point to not become crazy. This last 5 years of my life has had one major catastrophe after another. I really thought that this was the year that was going to treat us well! Still possible I guess and I have to keep the faith that we will be led down the perfect path for us!
I think today I should follow the advice of the quote and not be afraid to sit and think seriously about what my families next move will be. I am sure that when the time is right the "perfect" solution will fall into place. In the meantime....anyone with work....CALL ME :)
Have a great day and today instead of complaining how you have to go off to work....be grateful you still have your job!
Lorraine Hansberry
This quote really fits today. I have been laying low for the last few months. I quit my job only to take another and now focused on doing well and creating a new balance yet again. Thinking is all I seem to do these days. Am I being a good mom, friend, wife, worker?? I am constantly trying to make all of these people happy and often get lost myself in that process. Still thinking about that!
Oh Monday. The most hated day of the week. Everyone seems to hate this day because it is a back to reality kind of feeling from the weekend. this Monday will be my least favorite day but for a completely different reason. This Monday my life gets jacked up again.....................
Today is the day I have been dreading. Today is the day my husband comes home with a big fat layoff packet and life as I know it has to change again. I get a bit tired of the changes but I have no choice but to roll with them. I am afraid but yet in my heart I know that something is not too far around the corner. Maybe he will get a job on an island and I can check off #14 from my bucket list???? We really seem to have had some crazy luck....layoffs, cancer, layoffs again. I really need a miracle at this point to not become crazy. This last 5 years of my life has had one major catastrophe after another. I really thought that this was the year that was going to treat us well! Still possible I guess and I have to keep the faith that we will be led down the perfect path for us!
I think today I should follow the advice of the quote and not be afraid to sit and think seriously about what my families next move will be. I am sure that when the time is right the "perfect" solution will fall into place. In the meantime....anyone with work....CALL ME :)
Have a great day and today instead of complaining how you have to go off to work....be grateful you still have your job!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
My 200th post!!
This is my 200th post....wow. For someone who never dreamed I would be a writer, I think I can finally say...I am a writer. I love this blog. I love it because it provides an outlet, a way to show the power of being positive, and a way that one day may change someone else.
Today's quote:
My life is every moment of my life. It is not a culmination of the past.
Hugh Leonard
You can't look to your past and what has happened to you to shape who you are now or where you are going. It's important to learn from where you came from but that doesn't define you. We are who we are because of those things but capable of endless opportunities just waiting to happen. I feel at this moment I am being led in the "perfect" path for me. It may not affect millions but I think me having been on this planet will have helped a few people be better. That is the hope anyway...
Every so often, I struggle with the choices I have made in my life and wonder if they are the right ones. I am just like everyone else out there sacrificing and searching for some bigger meaning. I started Friends of the Bald Woman to help women in need. Our first year has beyond passed any one's expectations and I am proud of that. Just as a gas tank runs low to empty however, I do too. My intentions are coming from the purest and best places but this game.....IS HARD! It is hard to compete with the "big guys". It is hard to manage my time equally amongst all these things I feel are important. It is hard to know if it even matters. This game is hard! Many times my tank needs to be filled with all the reasons why I am doing what I am doing to keep this thing moving forward. It is not something you can ask people for, but it always comes when I am in most need.
I think to myself sometimes how much EASIER my life was before I had cancer or before other key moments in my life happened. It was get up, take care of kids, go to work, and then do it all again. This routine has since been shattered and I find myself too often feeling lost without a clue as to my direction. I didn't have to think before. I get angry that cancer came into my life and turned it upside down. I think of some of the greatest athletes, great leaders, and companies that have existed and wonder if they struggled like I do. Did they feel 100% that they were on the right path but still needed to just "know"? Why does my head tell me to constantly question what my heart is telling me to just do? Can't they just get along??? My guess is the greatest things in life never came easy and without struggles so I too will keep pushing forward until my vision of helping people is beyond what I can see at the moment. I have drive and just because I can't see this everyday doesn't mean that I will give up on what I feel I can do. We should never lose sight of what it is that we want. My bottom line is simple. I have said it before. I just want people to smile and laugh more. They seems so small but really can be quite difficult. I want to change the way we see the cup. It may be half empty but look how cute the cup is??? See hopefully you just smiled.....I am on a mission and although right now it is difficult so are many other obstacles that I have come up against. I have won many of those battles but learned from them all. I will get my tank filled at just the moment when I need it most and remember once again why I am here. I will now and forever continue to keep moving forward.
Take the great gifts and talents that your were blessed with and SHARE them with the world (or anyone who will accept them). This can be the culmination of your life's past meeting up with the present to create one powerful LIFE!
Today's quote:
My life is every moment of my life. It is not a culmination of the past.
Hugh Leonard
You can't look to your past and what has happened to you to shape who you are now or where you are going. It's important to learn from where you came from but that doesn't define you. We are who we are because of those things but capable of endless opportunities just waiting to happen. I feel at this moment I am being led in the "perfect" path for me. It may not affect millions but I think me having been on this planet will have helped a few people be better. That is the hope anyway...
Every so often, I struggle with the choices I have made in my life and wonder if they are the right ones. I am just like everyone else out there sacrificing and searching for some bigger meaning. I started Friends of the Bald Woman to help women in need. Our first year has beyond passed any one's expectations and I am proud of that. Just as a gas tank runs low to empty however, I do too. My intentions are coming from the purest and best places but this game.....IS HARD! It is hard to compete with the "big guys". It is hard to manage my time equally amongst all these things I feel are important. It is hard to know if it even matters. This game is hard! Many times my tank needs to be filled with all the reasons why I am doing what I am doing to keep this thing moving forward. It is not something you can ask people for, but it always comes when I am in most need.
I think to myself sometimes how much EASIER my life was before I had cancer or before other key moments in my life happened. It was get up, take care of kids, go to work, and then do it all again. This routine has since been shattered and I find myself too often feeling lost without a clue as to my direction. I didn't have to think before. I get angry that cancer came into my life and turned it upside down. I think of some of the greatest athletes, great leaders, and companies that have existed and wonder if they struggled like I do. Did they feel 100% that they were on the right path but still needed to just "know"? Why does my head tell me to constantly question what my heart is telling me to just do? Can't they just get along??? My guess is the greatest things in life never came easy and without struggles so I too will keep pushing forward until my vision of helping people is beyond what I can see at the moment. I have drive and just because I can't see this everyday doesn't mean that I will give up on what I feel I can do. We should never lose sight of what it is that we want. My bottom line is simple. I have said it before. I just want people to smile and laugh more. They seems so small but really can be quite difficult. I want to change the way we see the cup. It may be half empty but look how cute the cup is??? See hopefully you just smiled.....I am on a mission and although right now it is difficult so are many other obstacles that I have come up against. I have won many of those battles but learned from them all. I will get my tank filled at just the moment when I need it most and remember once again why I am here. I will now and forever continue to keep moving forward.
Take the great gifts and talents that your were blessed with and SHARE them with the world (or anyone who will accept them). This can be the culmination of your life's past meeting up with the present to create one powerful LIFE!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Everyday kind of life
Today, I woke up alone in a King sized bed with all my covers on and before my alarm clock went off. I got showered, dressed to go off to work in my favorite pair of Jimmy Choo's, poured my coffee, and was ready to tackle the world. I work at a very large organization in one of those ultra modern high rise buildings and as I walk in with my coffee I say hello to everyone working away in their cubicles. I sit at my desk, sigh, and know that this is where I am meant to be. I head home but stop off at the local gym for a spin class. I sit down and enjoy my glass of wine and wind down before I do it all again tomorrow.......
15 years ago, this is the life I said I wanted. I was a small town high school student in the middle of Missouri that dreamed of heading off to the city. I had ambitions of being an ad exec and working in a high rise building somewhere. Life for me since high school took a few twists and turns and now my life looks more like this.........
Today I awoke to a toenail scrapping the side of my face. It hurt to so I got up, well rolled 45 degrees and fell out. I tip toe into the other room to put a pot of coffee on as to not disturb the children. This gives me 5 minutes of quiet before they wake up. I realize we are out of real coffee and I have to use the "fake" stuff. I hear a noise from the other room.......OHHHHHH no it is the alarm clock that I had set going off. If that stupid clock wakes up my 3 year old I am going to......."HI MOM!", she says. "Hi sweetheart.....(sigh)" Well so much for that 5 minutes. Oh well dress the kids, make the beds, make lunches for school, and if I am lucky a nice 5 minute shower. After the shower I get ready for work in my best hole-filled clothing and take 3 minutes to attempt makeup and hair. We are ready to roll about 8 am and I take the kids to school. The zoo of a parking lot prevents me from parking in it so we have to park down the street and walk. I appreciate the only exercise that I will have time to squeeze in. Kids get dropped off and I head to work. I drive 20 minutes to get there and work for 2 hours. Go back across town and pick up my preschooler, and head home to feed her lunch. We have 25 minutes to eat because gymnastics starts at 12:15. Then shuttle back across town to the gymnastics place. Sit for an hour and use my phone to answer emails and make any calls needed for work. We head home where I fix my daughter another snack and put on Dora. I then head into my office where I either work some more from home or work running my non-profit organization. Quick books, data entry, answer emails, and beg for money. That is my next few hours....It takes this long because in between journal entries I am "drinking tea" or "pretending that barbie is going to the beach" or being the "evil queen that tries to lock up my princess daughter".... then at 3:30 we walk down to pick up my son from his bus stop that is about a 1/2 mile away. My daughter leisurely rides her bike at a 0.01 mile an hour pace and we finally make it down there 20 min later. Again I am thankful for another exercise break even though the pace is far from my style. Then I greet my son off the bus and ask him about his day. I then ask about 100 extra questions to get more than, "fine". We walk back to the house and by 4:00 it is after school snack time. They have 30 minutes to make this happen because my son has to get dressed for football practice. By 5:00 we are leaving the house and driving 30 min across town to football practice. This lasts for two hours. I, on occasion will leave after my husband arrives to go home and get dinner started so we can eat at 8:00 at night. At 8 they get home from football, we eat dinner, and I ensure that everyone has had a shower. By 9:00 the kids are asleep and finally a chance to relax. About 5 minutes after sitting down on the couch....I am asleep. I head off to bed to dream about....nothing. You have to sleep for a good length of time to get into dream mode! Then I wake up, or am woke up, and do it all again.
I realize many of you are failing to see the glamour in this last scenario, but it really is! I am a princess, taxi driver, chef, parent, employee, philanthropist, and cheerleader. I know it is not the life that I envisioned in high school, but back then I was an idiot! I thought money grew on trees, people were supposed to drive you around, and meals just popped out of the oven. This is my everyday without any complications. No extras that pop up out of your control or battling cancer nonetheless. This is life I never knew I wanted. This is the life that I wake up or am woke up, thanking God I got to do it again!
The grass is always greener somewhere else. I just don't care because I am having too much fun!!!
15 years ago, this is the life I said I wanted. I was a small town high school student in the middle of Missouri that dreamed of heading off to the city. I had ambitions of being an ad exec and working in a high rise building somewhere. Life for me since high school took a few twists and turns and now my life looks more like this.........
Today I awoke to a toenail scrapping the side of my face. It hurt to so I got up, well rolled 45 degrees and fell out. I tip toe into the other room to put a pot of coffee on as to not disturb the children. This gives me 5 minutes of quiet before they wake up. I realize we are out of real coffee and I have to use the "fake" stuff. I hear a noise from the other room.......OHHHHHH no it is the alarm clock that I had set going off. If that stupid clock wakes up my 3 year old I am going to......."HI MOM!", she says. "Hi sweetheart.....(sigh)" Well so much for that 5 minutes. Oh well dress the kids, make the beds, make lunches for school, and if I am lucky a nice 5 minute shower. After the shower I get ready for work in my best hole-filled clothing and take 3 minutes to attempt makeup and hair. We are ready to roll about 8 am and I take the kids to school. The zoo of a parking lot prevents me from parking in it so we have to park down the street and walk. I appreciate the only exercise that I will have time to squeeze in. Kids get dropped off and I head to work. I drive 20 minutes to get there and work for 2 hours. Go back across town and pick up my preschooler, and head home to feed her lunch. We have 25 minutes to eat because gymnastics starts at 12:15. Then shuttle back across town to the gymnastics place. Sit for an hour and use my phone to answer emails and make any calls needed for work. We head home where I fix my daughter another snack and put on Dora. I then head into my office where I either work some more from home or work running my non-profit organization. Quick books, data entry, answer emails, and beg for money. That is my next few hours....It takes this long because in between journal entries I am "drinking tea" or "pretending that barbie is going to the beach" or being the "evil queen that tries to lock up my princess daughter".... then at 3:30 we walk down to pick up my son from his bus stop that is about a 1/2 mile away. My daughter leisurely rides her bike at a 0.01 mile an hour pace and we finally make it down there 20 min later. Again I am thankful for another exercise break even though the pace is far from my style. Then I greet my son off the bus and ask him about his day. I then ask about 100 extra questions to get more than, "fine". We walk back to the house and by 4:00 it is after school snack time. They have 30 minutes to make this happen because my son has to get dressed for football practice. By 5:00 we are leaving the house and driving 30 min across town to football practice. This lasts for two hours. I, on occasion will leave after my husband arrives to go home and get dinner started so we can eat at 8:00 at night. At 8 they get home from football, we eat dinner, and I ensure that everyone has had a shower. By 9:00 the kids are asleep and finally a chance to relax. About 5 minutes after sitting down on the couch....I am asleep. I head off to bed to dream about....nothing. You have to sleep for a good length of time to get into dream mode! Then I wake up, or am woke up, and do it all again.
I realize many of you are failing to see the glamour in this last scenario, but it really is! I am a princess, taxi driver, chef, parent, employee, philanthropist, and cheerleader. I know it is not the life that I envisioned in high school, but back then I was an idiot! I thought money grew on trees, people were supposed to drive you around, and meals just popped out of the oven. This is my everyday without any complications. No extras that pop up out of your control or battling cancer nonetheless. This is life I never knew I wanted. This is the life that I wake up or am woke up, thanking God I got to do it again!
The grass is always greener somewhere else. I just don't care because I am having too much fun!!!
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