This is from my first blog post 5 years ago......
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The day time stood still
As most of you know on Dec. 22, 2009 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This was a shock to everyone including myself. It was definitely a day that will stand out for me among some others. I look at it more as a chapter change not an ending. As all great books have many chapters with ups and downs, so do I in the story of my life. There has been great good, bad, and ugly times. Nobody ever says that life is going to be an easy ride so we just have to sit back and enjoy what we see!
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I read this, knowing that only a month prior to me writing it, I heard the 3 devastating words that nobody wants to hear....YOU HAVE CANCER. So much has happened in this 5 years that this post couldn't even begin to capture my feelings on this time. Head back through the blog and you can follow the whole journey.
Today, 5 years later, I look at my life through different eyes. I see people differently. I have less desire for things and stuff (well except for my amazing new watch I got yesterday!! lol) I have an appreciation for nature that was not there before. I see amazing sunrises and sunsets, and yes it is beautiful, but to me its a reminder that I am still alive. I am here. I got to stay here on earth so I better not waste that gift!
The last 5 years has not been easy for me. Most would think, 'Oh you are cancer free...life is good'. While that is true, there was a long period of time after I was "cancer free" that I had to deal with what had just happened. I dealt with cancer after effects, then right after I quit my job to be a stay at home mom my husband lost his job, then an almost 2 year unemployment, my home was almost taken away from me twice, I lived second to second and was in complete survival mode, and then the worst of the worst of this five year stretch the 6 funerals in 6 months that I attended (including both of my sweet grandmothers). I am not pretending that I handled everything wonderfully, none of us would we are human, but at the end of each day I forced myself to find the good in each day and write it down. I started the practice with my family too, and it made so much impact that I can't even begin to tell you. Try it for a month or two each night to find some good in the day. You will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!
This five years has taken so much from me but I CHOOSE to look at life different. I choose to see what I have taken from it not what its taken from me. I have taken knowledge, appreciation, realization, true meaning of faith in something bigger than you can see, and love that is indescribable. I choose to live...I will make the most of my time that I am allowed here and hopefully make an impact on the world around me. That is really all I ever wanted anyway.
Thank you to those who read these things, to my sweet friends who never stop showing me how amazing they are, and thank you to my amazing family for never letting me forget what it means to live.
Finally, thank you to the horrible crap disease that tried to take me from my life. You have been my greatest challenge and my greatest teacher.
