Even in Australia

One week till round four....I have to say I am a little more nervous about this round than the previous. Mostly because it took 7 or 8 days to bounce back this time.. I wasn't "sick" so to speak, but just down. I compare it to that feeling you have when you are just laying around one day trying to get motivated to do something....I am sure none of you have ever felt that though, right?! It was that type of a feeling for 24 hours a day for a week straight. It was the most frustrating experience of my life so far. My brain says, let's do this (work, play with kids, get up in the morning) and then my body just won't do it! Weird and confusing and now a week later pretty funny too. It is a mental game and is so easy to move to the negative stuff. Some days you just want to lock yourself in a room and come out the next day when you know you will have a better attitude and day. Isn't regular non-cancer life like that too?? From what I remember, some days are just like that! (It is funny that I say "what I remember" with chemo brain this bad!!)

There is a great kids book "Alexander and the No good very bad day". Alexander is having a very bad day and everything goes wrong. He thinks if he moves to Australia it will all go away. It reminds me often that bad days come and go...."even in Australia"!
(Isn't this what we all think?) If we just go live in our fav place, have no job, more time to just have fun, or have all the money in the world that life will somehow not provide any stress? Is this just our nature as humans? I remember times during this whole escapade that I wished it wasn't me..poor me..why me.. and all of this type of stuff. The reality is however, if it wasn't this than it could or would be something else. We just have to have the hope and faith that we will be guided through and learn something from each experience we have. I do whole-heartedly believe that is what is happening here. I feel different, look different, and probably act different too. You can't not be affected...I am happy (not that I am going through this experience, but that I believe that on the other side of it something greater is waiting)

I realize that I have become so reflective these last few weeks. I can't help it. The humor will creep back in eventually!! :) I am sure I would be much funnier if I only lived IN AUSTRALIA!!