Last year at this time....I was sad. I was penniless. I almost lost everything I owned (well not owned for 30 years obviously lol). I worked constantly. I was grieving the many losses I had suffered. I delt with my own fears of my own fate/mortality. I had no idea what was coming next. I was just stuck for a while. I felt that I was in quicksand. Thanks to great friends, family, and cheerleaders that refused to leave me when I decided to sit a while, I finally got up. I stopped for a bit but from the shell of a person I had become I found something within. A spark of light that never left me.
I have always believed in the power of prayer and had great faith in God but was always held back by something. I wanted to know the future. I was trying so hard to predict the future and grieving the past that I lost the present! I had to learn that it was not about MY plans. I have been through many trials in this 35 years of life but I had never been tried and tried and tried again to the point where I finally broke. I broke. The girl who had to hold the world together around her for everyone else for so many years broke. What an insane out of control spiral of events.
There I was lying on the floor feeling as if I had been in battle. It was me, one person, against an entire army of people trying to bring me down. As I lay there on my final blow, broken and tired, I saw a spark. That spark came in the darkest hour and began to grow. I realized I was not alone. I never really was. I was surrounded by sparks and needed to find a way to bring them all together to get back up again. I broke that day, but I broke the desire to control everything that happens. I broke the desire to predict the future. I broke the desire to live in the past. I BROKE only to be built back up to an even stronger individual with knowledge and wisdom that many have not yet seen.
What a gift. I am back up on my feet but changed and different.
It amazes me how this has happened to me more than once in life and I am only 35 years old! It only takes one spark to start a fire. In our darkest moments that we may be having there is always a spark within you that can help you back up again. Know that all you need to do is stop and quit fighting so hard! It is there. It is what makes us human. It is what drives in our decisions. It is the one thing that NOBODY and NOTHING can take from you. It just sometimes takes a while to realize it is there, but once you do....watch out! One spark that begins to connect with other sparks begins to make BIG things happen!
Just stand up friends! All of the sparks are here ready to help you ignite your dreams!
