We as people hardly ever tell people when they change us (unless it something big). A few weeks ago I realized that the smallest thing that someone was doing had become something so big to me. Many know that my life this last year has been a challenge. I am running a race and unfortunately am not allowed to know how far or when I can stop. As you can only imagine it is a trial. I am tested daily on my resolve to be patient, kind, positive, and grateful. I have not successfully done this the entire time but each time I have been knocked down I have slowly but surely go back up. this last knock down however, I decided I didn't want to get up. I was done and I was going to quit this race and just lay here....that didn't last long though. The wonderful thing about my life is that I have the most wonderful friends and family around me that hold their hands out and pull me back up. They can't run the race for me but they are there the whole time to cheer me on and make sure I finish. I know they all know how thankful I am for each of them being in my life. I also know that when the timing is right that I will be right there to pull them up when they need a hand. We are interconnected, but its not just those we know......
The walker walks past my house almost everyday of the week. He has a cane some days, he wears the same straw hat (unless its snowing), and he walks the same direction past my house daily. Almost a year ago I started waving as he walked past my house. He did too with a big friendly smile on his face. At some point as I drove down the street at the same time each day I began to look for him. His smile and wave made me feel at peace and happy. On many days I swear it was the only happy I had. When my grandmothers passed I began to beg for a sign that I would be OK and almost as soon as i thought it, there he was walking, smiling, waving, and giving me a strange sense of peace. My 5 year old daughter at some point this last year told me that he was an angel. "No, a real one mom", she said smiling. She said his wings were tucked in his jacket. I smiled wishing she was right. I didn't see him regularly necessarily, but each day i saw him it was on a day that I really needed to be reminded that everything was going to be OK. I saw him alot in September when I lost my nan, almost everyday! I smiled and waved in more pain than anyone around me even knew, but temporarily lifted of this burden by this "walker" (a complete stranger who I had never even said more than hello to). I too began to feel he was my families angel. A few weeks back I was sitting there listening to Robbie Williams, Nan's Song (which we played at her funeral and I have listened to everyday since she died) I usually am singing the song but this day was just quiet listening to the words..."You said when you die you'd walk with me everyday......" I started crying and realized maybe she had been walking with me over the last few months. "The walker" walking by giving me a sense that my life would be OK was her! I cried more upon realizing this. Then, I could not get it out of my head that I needed this man to know that he had changed my life. Now, how do I do this without looking like a crazy stalker??? I didn't even know this guys name and what kind of crazy just runs out to the road and hands some walker guy a letter....well ME that's who!! I wrote him a letter and told him the "brief" (well... Holly brief) version of my life this last year and that when I prayed to know that everything would be OK again there he was. I told him that my child thought he was an angel and that his smiles, waves, and walking had brought me peace after such a horrible time. I told him that I just felt like he needed to know that he really was an angel to my family and a thank you. Now, when you give a random stranger a letter like this with angel talk, prayers and God, your life story, and thanks for something so simple as a smile you have no idea how you will be received by them. I held the letter for 2 weeks and didn't give it to him. I was not sure how, and honestly I was feeling a bit crazy at this point. V-day 2013 was supposed to be the day that our life changed....but it didn't and I was knocked down again for the last (and in my mind) final time. I didn't want to get up again. I was done. I felt that a person could only take soooo much and I didn't have any more hope and no more desire to even try and find it. I think that is what hopelessness is! I was done. The next day I was headed out and I saw the "walker". I had allready told my kids about the letter and as soon as they saw him they insisted I give him the letter. VERY hesitantly, I grabbed it along with some rice crispy treats I had just made. We drove down the street (in the opposite direction we needed to go) to catch him. I gave him the letter and treats and he said thank you several times smiled and went on his way. Then we waited......I didn't see him for a good week. I was really nervous that he may have felt I was a bit nuts and a stalker LOL.
Today....my doorbell rings and he is standing there with a letter for me. He thanked me again as he told me my letter made him tear up. I cried a bit, said thank you, and hugged him. He then went off down the road walking. I went inside and read the letter. It thanked me for my letter and said our family was added to his daily prayers. He also said that due to some health issues he walks for 3 hours each day and many of those days that he walked by and smiled and waved it gave him a lift to keep going. With tears flowing I read this to my kids and husband. Inside the envelope was a gift (for toys r us) signed "the walker" for the little girl that lifted his spirit, my daughter. The "walker" changed many of my moods, days, months, year, and now has really impacted my life. It feels amazing to know that each time my prayer was answered..... so was his.
We are interconnected whether we believe it or not. Your actions ARE effecting someone else. Think about that next time you drive down the street, go to the store, go to work, or do whatever you do. Someone once told me that 1 person can NOT change the world but I BELIEVE IT ONLY TAKES 1 PERSON TO CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!! Will it be you???
