See the light

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.
Aristotle Onassis

When you can see this light at the end of a very dark tunnel it makes it bearable. I think that little light is what helped me to make it through this mess.There were moments when that light is all I saw and moments when it was very hard to see. I guess I just never let go of it. There were times I wanted to quit (like I really had a choice). There were times I wanted to scream and cry (such a drama queen I know). Then there were the times that were so overwhelming that making a joke is all you can do to not lose it. In two weeks to this day I will be done with all treatments and move on to a pill for five years. It then and only then I will call myself a "survivor". It happens to be my daughters 3rd birthday too...I consider it my Re-birthday!!

"Survivor" is a funny word though. I mean to me it seems like if I was in some natural disaster or plane crash then I could come out saying, "I survived". This...I don't know. Here is the dictionary definition.

sur·vive (sr-vv)
v. sur·vived, sur·viv·ing, sur·vives
v.intr.
1. To remain alive or in existence.
2. To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere:
3. To remain functional or usable:
4. To live longer than; outlive:
5. To live, persist, or remain usable through:
6. To cope with (a trauma or setback); persevere after

Even though I don't feel as if I have "done" anything to earn this title I will take it and wear it with pride. I feel as if I have remained alive...OK good so has everyone reading this. As for the others on the list, well we all deal with trauma and we are forced through difficulties even you go kicking and screaming. I guess according to this I am a survivor. Anyone can be a survivor but me.... I survived with style!!! :)

There is great power in each of us that most people don't even know they have. The challenge today is find your gift, the thing that makes you happy no matter what kind of mood your in and then....Don't let go!