Caios

My life feels as if it is in a huge snowball rolling down a hill. It is going faster and faster and I am stuck in the middle gettting more and more buried in it. I am praying for a road block to just let it stop for a minute so I can see where the heck I am. I am feeling like I don't know who I am anymore. I have so many responsiblities and I am pulled in 100 different directions everyday! My question is nothing has changed (except me) and I have less to deal with now than before, so why?
I am still processing that thought. You would think one would be over the moon and thankful every second of each day that they are cancer free. I am and I do, but I still have these moments where I get pissed off that I even have had to deal with this. Why? It is over!
From what I have read and talked with others I know this is normal, but for a few days I have really felt like Susy Sunshine (my normal persona) is gone and Negative Nelly is all I am left with. I feel better when I laugh, but haven't been laughing much lately. Need that back again for sure. I had to quit the gym which was the only thing keeping me sane (my running and training).Additionally, fall is in full swing and I am so wrapped up in working and slowly heading right back down the path of losing what made this journey so memorable. I set out to be the "best cancer patient" there was and to break the "sterotypes" that people have of cancer patients. Now....I guess I am just left with me again. I want to help others and really have passion for that but it is so quickly getting snowballed and pretty soon I will be at the bottom of the mountain with too much around me to get out!
I realize this is not in true bald woman fashion, but today I felt it was important to share this because I am just like everyone else with ups and downs. My famous quote that I made up is "Life has ups and downs but it is how we choose to deal with them that makes us who we are."
I should take my own advice from time to time!! :)
Feeling better allready I guess.

Ironically here is the quote of the day today,
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
Michael Jordan

I guess we can all persevere over whatever we are going through and the positive mind that I have is just being tested right now. I have more power than I realize over my current status and the sooner I can come to the realization of that....the sooner I can enjoy what I really am wanting to do!!!! Watch out world because I have somehow just given myself a pep talk while I was writing and now I am ready to be the change I wish to see!!!!!