BW...superhero

Baldy is Back!! For those who don't know the BALD WOMAN is somewhat of a superhero now. She can handle all of life's crazy problems much better than I can. She has battles with kids, a job, and battles cancer all without missing a beat!
Have no fear BALD WOMAN is here...that's what they say when she enters the room!!!! :)

She begins her day just as anyone else would....slaps in the face with the two littlest household members asking, "Are you awake?" or "I have to go to the bathroom". She pops up like a pop tart never grouchy or tired and is ready to attack the day! She walks out and sees 3 or 4 ants. She has been battling them for months and just when she thinks they are gone, they return for more. She knows that if there are 3 there will quickly be more if she doesn't strike first! Armed with her bleach spray she attacks the half dozen ants like she is battling for her life. She assures them they have stepped into the wrong home! She rids the home of the enemy with a quick and painless victory. She silently celebrates and thinks to herself 'When you've got it, you've go it'!
Sitting for BW is not much of an option so that lasted about 10 seconds. In the background,she hears the two wonderful children that attempt to run this house screaming at each other. On one hand she counts backwards from 5. 5,4,3,2,.........MOOOOOOOOMMMMMM! He did this and she did that (does it really matter what it was?)Ok she says and walks away. This is bald woman's trick move. MOOOOOMMM, she did this and he said that. They clearly were not feeling that justice had been served. She tries again asking if they would both like to spend some time apart in their wonderfully overstocked rooms??? Neither wanted that option so with a quick OK she moves on to solve the next problem. She moves on to picking up the overstocked home. Those toys are overflowing from every room in the house so she attempts to enlist the help of the two house patrons. They basically laugh at her and tell her she is crazy....ah but BW has secret weapons they don't know about. In her travels all around the world she has discovered that these short little patrons are easily bribed with items such as "smart pills" (aka chocolate chips). Negotiations were especially difficult this day. They are either picking up on the trick or they were holding out for more on this particular morning. It cost her 3 "smart pills" per person today, she may need to work on a new bribe for next time. "Molding dough" (aka play dough) is being saved for the next negations.... She wonders if it is bribery or just a negotiation of services. They do what is asked and then she allows them to do something else??? Negotiation is a helpful skill later in life in some professions...oh but that bigger one....he is getting better. She battles him daily on subjects ranging from clothing choices, playtime options, food options, and if the sky blue some days. He is getting better too....it must be all the practice.
She takes another 10 second break to fuel up. They don't realize that she can only do everything because of her "fuel"....(aka coffee). She fuels up for the second or third cup(she has lost track at this point). She hears the next task being bellowed by the troops. It's now breakfast time. After another slightly shorter negotion session breakfast is made and served. She moves on to laundry but not before feeding the dog, watering the plants, and making all the beds. Once that is complete the little short ones allow her to take a shower but only if it does not exceed 4 1/2 minutes! She being a superhero does it in 4 minutes, so she got 30 seconds to use as she wishes! Take that!
One last fuel up and they are off to do their errands around town. They return books, go to the bank, and fuel up their rocketship (aka car) with gas. (Which is getting really expensive these days here so their trips will be limited due to the current economic state....what you don't think BW has time to read the paper or watch the news???)
Upon their return home, the oldest is fed and shipped off to learn how to one day rule the world! The youngest is left at home with her grandpa to rule hers! BW changes to her alter ego and goes off to blend in with the work force for the other half of her day....but don't worry she still has several more hours once she walks back in the door to be BW superhero!!!!