Well I am posting today because I will be celebrating a very special day tomorrow. I will be hitting the slopes of the mountain tomorrow celebrating this special anniversary and won't be here to write about it. Can you guess what anniversary it is????
One year ago tomorrow, I heard the words that nobody wants to hear, "You have cancer". Now if you have read this blog at all you would remember that I really didn't "hear" those words and was so drugged up that it really is a blur. You get the idea though. Last year, I was the reason everyone's Christmas was a little more solemn. I was the reason that there were secret tears at Christmas instead of laughter. If it was up to me, even now, I would go back and hide it from them all (at least till Dec 26)! I felt as if I had RUINED Christmas for everyone. They all were crying and cursing and I...I just wanted to start a treatment plan that day! It was scary and unknown for us all, but I knew that day that my life was going to change! It really did too!
At first, I felt I had ruined Christmas. I soon discovered that I gave it more meaning. I think now especially this year and this day (well tomorrow) will stand out in minds of my family forever and make everyone a little more thankful for ME (just kidding, for each other)!!! What I initially thought of as the biggest curse and the most horrible thing in the world, turned out to be one of the best things to happen to me to date! Calm down I don't mean I want to do it again or that I didn't do my fair share of complaining. I just mean that since hearing those words I have done great things. I have showed myself and anyone watching that, "YOU NEVER KNOW HOW STRONG YOU ARE TILL STRONG IS YOUR ONLY OPTION". I showed all of them (I Hope) that if you can laugh and enjoy having cancer, you really can enjoy ANYTHING. I also have discovered that I love to write. I have debated heavily if I should quit writing on this blog now. I mean I don't have cancer anymore and don't even know if anyone reads this either! What I have decided though is it doesn't matter....if nobody reads this or a million read this, it doesn't matter. I write because I love it and it's in my heart. Wouldn't it be great if we could all find that one thing that we would do in life for free!!! I have thanks to cancer.
Today (and tomorrow) I will continue to be thankful each day I am allowed to open my eyes and hug my kids and my family. I will use what I have gone through to help as many people as I possibly can! I will live and love and most importantly (to me) LAUGH every single day. This Christmas will be the greatest one, not only because I am here but my family doesn't have to watch this fight anymore! I love each and every family and friend that has made a difference in my fight. From cards,phone calls, facebook posts, dinners, and all the way to babysitting each one of you made a difference in my life. Each time I needed a boost, YOU were there to pick me up. I will never be able to repay each of you for these acts no matter the size, but I WILL spend the rest of my time here on this earth trying to pass this on to someone else who needs it!
I hope each person out there looks at Christmas a little different this year even if it's only for a minute. Be thankful for what you have and TELL them. The greatest gift you can give someone this year is to tell them how they changed your life!
One year ago (tomorrow) I heard the words that nobody wants to hear but those words are the ones that changed my life. The view from the top of this mountain was worth every step I took to get up to the top!
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