Comedy or Tragedy?

Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel.
Horace Walpole

I am a thinker so the comedy thing just fits! I wonder if it is because us thinkers don't get wrapped up in life. We take it for what it's worth and try to learn things from each experience we have. Who knows but the world needs both kinds. We need the variety to keep us from being boring!

This last week I have been thinking a lot about what I am doing. I go everyday to radiation treatments and they zap away the remaining cancer cells...maybe if there are any. The biggest question I get now is...Is it gone? I just wish I could answer it. I can't. The "think" it was gone when they took it out in surgery on Dec. 22! The chemo and radiation are supposed to be insurance that it never will return. Why does that answer not feel good enough?
I guess I wanted something like a blood test or like pregnancy tests that says "YES You have cancer" or "NO it is gone"!! My whole thinking has been focused on getting to the last day of chemo....OK, now that has come and gone several weeks ago....NOW WHAT??? Focus on the end of radiation....OK fine but then can I call myself a survivor? I had a mammogram before radiation but it was inconclusive meaning it couldn't give me a clean bill of health but it couldn't give me a negative one either. It is just a post surgery/radiation baseline. I just want this to be out of my life for good, but I don't think that will ever happen. This is a part of me now just as any healed scar. It gone from being threatening to just a reminder.
I guess we all need those from time to time to keep us grounded!
Oh well, now on to new projects...the goal is to help as many people as possible. I am hoping to begin the "Friends of the Bald Woman" charity very soon. Maybe then we can turn those who are feeling sorry for themselves into great thinking comedians too!