Inspired

I am approaching my 2 year "cancerversary" in August and have been looking back to the last few years of my life. There are many times when I go back and read the very posts I wrote and feel like I am watching someone else's lifetime movie. (hmmm I wonder who would play me??)

The last 2 years I feel as if I have accomplished so much but yet have so much more left to do. I have started a non profit organization, started a young women's group (and actually have people in it), handed out a dozen chemo packs to patients, and created a calendar that hopefully has inspired a few people. There have been many times along the way in which I have wondered though...."is this even making a difference, why do I work so hard to this, and should I just stop trying to make this work and go back to 'normal' life?" I pack so much into my days with my kids activities, my paid job (remember my husband was laid off 10 months ago), my house upkeep, and trying to run a non profit in my spare time. There are many who think I am crazy. There are some who think I should delegate more. There are some that say I should just quit. I too have thought each of these things. What keeps me going though is that every once and a while there are moments when I am reassured that I am right where I am supposed to be. I feel purpose and occasionally get to see that I have started a chain of events that can not be taken back and hopefully leads to something wonderful. I trust that I am able to handle this busy life that I have put before me and that I will overcome the obstacles that have been placed in my way. It is hard for some that have not traveled my path to understand this choice. At times, this life is at the expense of my paid job or my kids time with me. At the end of the day I do the best that I can with all the things I have in front of me. I may not dedicate all of my time to one thing and spread myself way too thin at times, but I enjoy my life more than the average person. I have an understanding about my life that many people will not know for a long time if ever.  I know that each day I am blessed to be here I am making an impact (or at least attempting to).  My goal has always been to put smiles on the faces of others...it really is that simple. I know I didn't need a big non profit for that, but.....I had a dream! When my time clock runs out I know that I "LIVED" my life  and I followed my dreams. "Some say that I am a dreamer.....but I am not the only one" (had to throw in a little musical quote LOL...thanks John Lennon)

Yesterday I was re-inspired to keep on my path. I watched 2 people overcome fears/anxieties and it was amazing. I remember having the same fears when I was in treatment myself. It brought me back to a place of vulnerability that I had almost forgotten. To see these amazing ladies beat not only a beast like cancer but a long time anxiety was priceless. I started the young women's group because I felt when I was going through cancer that I was the only 30 year old in world with cancer and kids. These women now have others to lean on that have an understanding that no other person can have. I am so thankful that I was able to push through my own difficulties to help these two ladies meet. I think just when you need to see something amazing...there it is right in front of your face. I am so happy to have these women cross my path and I only hope that there will be more opportunities to inspire, connect, and help others who come across my path. Thank you to those ladies for giving me the inspiration needed to continue this sometimes crazy journey and remind again why i do what I  do.

Inspiration comes in many ways and usually just when we need it most. My path is not always easy but I feel that those difficulties make the journey so much better. I hope you are inspired by these ladies in the upcoming calendar as much as I am. Have a wonderful day!