Best of Both Worlds

Nothing beats a hard days work does it? For those of us moms that think we can have it all.....I don't know if we can. Something seems to always be lacking. I feel that I am out of balance about 100% of the time. I am always giving too much to someone and not enough to other things. That is the trade off that happens when you are a "jack of all trades and master of none". It is craziness on a daily basis and many other part time mom/part time workers I am certain would agree. I have approximately 10 jobs only one of which pays me and I walk a line of balance every single day to keep everyone happy. Last on that list is me, but its OK. My dad told me last night that my life is the way that it is now because I like it. If I didn't like it...I would change it. What a simple but true statement. I just needed someone to tell me that they had sympathy. For what though, the fact that I have two healthy kids, have my own cancer free health, or is it that I have everything I said I wanted (job, kids, house, cars, great family). When I look at this I realize I don't need pity. I just need to learn how to say no!
When I was a young girl I dreamed of a career. I dreamed of business suits, lots of money, and corporate parties. That was the path that I envisioned in my life. At 15, I would say who cares about kids or there is always plenty of time for that. I wanted the high powered lifestyle.
I am unsure even now where along the timeline that the dream changed. I just know that I did a 180. I traded the business suits in for maternity pants, the endless money for a middle class lifestyle, and the corporate parties for Chuckie Cheese. At some point that life didn't matter. I grew up with a stay at home mom. In my head that is what you did when you had kids but I wanted it all. When my kids came before I made it up a corporate ladder, life changed. I decided to have the best of both worlds. I stayed home part of the day and worked the other.
Now, we all know that nothing in life (I do mean NOTHING) comes without a price. You just have to determine if that price is worth it. I do have the best of both worlds, however, the best of both worlds comes with more things to do and remember. My memory as you know has been effected. Doctors may or may not agree but I KNOW it has changed. I can no longer speak as fast as I think. I think that is why I like to write now. I have time to think of my funny things about life :)
Now I don't need the best of BOTH worlds. My priorities have shifted yet again just as they did when I had kids. Now I want the best of ONE world. I am sure it will shift again one day, but for now...sorry Hannah Montana, I don't want the Best of Both Worlds anymore!
I am excited, grateful, and nervous for this new adventure, but screams from the morning and chauffeuring kids actually couldn't be more wanted right now.
Today's quote is a great one.....
If it were not for hopes, the heart would break.
Thomas Fuller
I have hopes of watching my kids grow, learn, and make a difference here in this world. I hope I am here long enough to make a dent here. (and I also hope one day I can go to Italy :) sorry had to throw that in there!) what are your hopes?