Nerves

Five men carrying machine guns dressed in foreign military gear decided to come and pull me from my home in the middle of the night. I was taken in the dark of night to a place that looked like a waiting room and told to sit in a chair. They told me that I was going to go to prison. Not like the wonderful Americanized prisons, but a dark and creepy foreign one. I asked if I could at least tell my family what was going on. It was the middle of the night and they would be really scared and worried. They denied this request without hesitation. Miraculously, however, I was able to escape and get to my fearful family and tell them what was going on. I was there mere seconds before those machine gun armed men found me and quickly drug me back to the room. It was there that I had to sit and wait. I was told to wait to see if I was going to be a prisoner or would be released. I sat down angry, sad, and fearful for the worst. Waiting, waiting,waiting......I closed my eyes. I heard a beeping coming from one of the other rooms as I opened my eyes to see where the noise was coming from.......
I opened my eyes and realize that this horrific sequence of events was really only a DREAM.

And that folks is how I began this wonderful day!

I went to the doc today for my 6 month check up and I obviously (as you can see from my dream) was a little anxious! I waited patiently all morning and even made it in to the gym to burn off some nervous energy! The time came and blood was done. I waited another hour to hear the news. Lucky for me.....best news all day. I AM STILL CANCER FREE AFTER 6 MONTHS!!!! This really is the best thing that i have heard all day! Now off to work till 8:oo. Then maybe a nice celebratory glass of wine when I get home.
I am not really afraid to battle cancer again, but I really don't WANT to. It was not fun even though I may have played it out to be. It was exhausting and I didn't even realize that I was until I was done with treatment. I think we do what we have to do. This is no big secret. When your head runs your life amazing things are possible. I never realized how being positive really does CHANGE your life's path. I have experienced this first hand. It is so easy to slip back into old habits and thinking of the worst. Look at yesterday...I am not sure if I will ever be OK with these visits. I will try my best to look around and enjoy the ride rather than focus on the ups and downs that lie ahead. Live in the moment!

I am thankful yet again to wake up this morning to my daughters foot in my face and the alarm going off way too early! The nerves are for nothing on this beautiful day! I am still here and free of this mess, so for today that is all I need.