The logo story

OK I promised a story of how our Friends of the Bald Woman logo came to be.......

I guess before I can start with the logo I have to tell you about the blog. This blog was only called Think Pink for a long time. My then 5 year old son, often came in and watched me type my daily posts to update all who read about the humors of my tumors (omg...that is funny and I literally just now made that up! too funny).

I was typing one day and he looked at the title and looked at me. He said, "Think Pink, that is kinda dumb". I looked back over and said, "OK well what do you think I should call it?" (this was very sarcastically and in my crazy voice) He paused and looked at me (bald as I could be) and said, "THE BALD WOMAN". It was in the strangest low pitched voice and we laughed for 15 minutes straight! Then I knew.....that was it!

The blog then became know as Think Pink: The Diary of the Bald Woman (only because I didn't want to change the URL and have to tell everyone) :) As I finished treatment and typed posts about the Bald Woman (aka ME) I decided that it was time to take it to the next level. I wanted to help people the way everyone did for me so my grand pay it forward plan began. There was no better name than Friends of the Bald Woman. The non profit was born and life as I knew it changed again!

As our non profit began to slowly grow we decided that we needed something that branded us. We needed a logo. My son, who then was 6, had been making me pictures of cancer ribbons and was really into drawing. He came to me around this same time with a picture. It was a simple heart with a cancer ribbon inside. I thanked him for the gift and then looked a little closer realizing that yet again he may have done it. I sent the drawing to a graphic designer and they cleaned it up a bit, fixed the colors, and added our name in  cool font.......BOOM our logo was made.

Some may have wondered if the logo is supposed to look like a child made it....yes. That logo means more to me than any designers perfect straight lined design can be. It is rough around the edges, not perfect, and was made with more love than you'll know. It was the final piece of what my son had started. That logo provides a great story and knowing that my son made it after he inspired the whole non profit makes it amazing to me.

We have come a long way in the last 2 years and I am forever thankful to all of you who have encouraged me to keep going even when it was very difficult. I look at the logo and am reminded of the love, the hope, and the laughter that my family and I shared on this journey. I hope now when you look at this logo you too will feel the love that created it! Have a fantastic day :)

***oh yeah....look very close in the heart and see if you can see what looks like a person with their hands up in the air (look only at the white part). What a cool hidden secret that you only know if you read my blog!!!

Inspired

I am approaching my 2 year "cancerversary" in August and have been looking back to the last few years of my life. There are many times when I go back and read the very posts I wrote and feel like I am watching someone else's lifetime movie. (hmmm I wonder who would play me??)

The last 2 years I feel as if I have accomplished so much but yet have so much more left to do. I have started a non profit organization, started a young women's group (and actually have people in it), handed out a dozen chemo packs to patients, and created a calendar that hopefully has inspired a few people. There have been many times along the way in which I have wondered though...."is this even making a difference, why do I work so hard to this, and should I just stop trying to make this work and go back to 'normal' life?" I pack so much into my days with my kids activities, my paid job (remember my husband was laid off 10 months ago), my house upkeep, and trying to run a non profit in my spare time. There are many who think I am crazy. There are some who think I should delegate more. There are some that say I should just quit. I too have thought each of these things. What keeps me going though is that every once and a while there are moments when I am reassured that I am right where I am supposed to be. I feel purpose and occasionally get to see that I have started a chain of events that can not be taken back and hopefully leads to something wonderful. I trust that I am able to handle this busy life that I have put before me and that I will overcome the obstacles that have been placed in my way. It is hard for some that have not traveled my path to understand this choice. At times, this life is at the expense of my paid job or my kids time with me. At the end of the day I do the best that I can with all the things I have in front of me. I may not dedicate all of my time to one thing and spread myself way too thin at times, but I enjoy my life more than the average person. I have an understanding about my life that many people will not know for a long time if ever.  I know that each day I am blessed to be here I am making an impact (or at least attempting to).  My goal has always been to put smiles on the faces of others...it really is that simple. I know I didn't need a big non profit for that, but.....I had a dream! When my time clock runs out I know that I "LIVED" my life  and I followed my dreams. "Some say that I am a dreamer.....but I am not the only one" (had to throw in a little musical quote LOL...thanks John Lennon)

Yesterday I was re-inspired to keep on my path. I watched 2 people overcome fears/anxieties and it was amazing. I remember having the same fears when I was in treatment myself. It brought me back to a place of vulnerability that I had almost forgotten. To see these amazing ladies beat not only a beast like cancer but a long time anxiety was priceless. I started the young women's group because I felt when I was going through cancer that I was the only 30 year old in world with cancer and kids. These women now have others to lean on that have an understanding that no other person can have. I am so thankful that I was able to push through my own difficulties to help these two ladies meet. I think just when you need to see something amazing...there it is right in front of your face. I am so happy to have these women cross my path and I only hope that there will be more opportunities to inspire, connect, and help others who come across my path. Thank you to those ladies for giving me the inspiration needed to continue this sometimes crazy journey and remind again why i do what I  do.

Inspiration comes in many ways and usually just when we need it most. My path is not always easy but I feel that those difficulties make the journey so much better. I hope you are inspired by these ladies in the upcoming calendar as much as I am. Have a wonderful day!

Motivation

Why do we keep moving when are so tired? What makes you take that final step or continuing to push through the difficult? We have so much more control over our head than we give ourselves credit for. We can push through some difficult obstacles if we believe in ourselves!

I have a bucket list. It is very long packed with  a bazillion places to see and things that I want to to do before my time clock expires. The fun of the bucket list is not really knowing how long that you have to complete it. It kind of motivates you in that way. Its a race against an imaginary clock and for a competition junkie such as myself....LOVES!!!  One of the items on this list is to complete a Triathlon. Now those who know triathlons know that they range from easiest to hardest. I did not specify on my list which I would do. I just wanted to say that I am a triathlete and I wanted to beat some others in a race. I know that I am not the only one to complete one, but the thought of swimming alone freaked me out let alone combining that with 2 other activities in succession....yikes. (or so I thought!!!)

I have been training since Octoberish for this feat. Oh it has not been the easiest of mountains to climb. I started small, and each week some voice in my head told me to push a bit more, and I did. It told me to go a bit harder, and I did. It told me not to quit (and oh boy have I wanted to at times), and I didn't! The motivation was from within (and of course a few fam/friends) to KEEP PUSHING. It has been tough and my plans to complete a triathlon have changed a bit. The race I was going to enter, I am now unable to do (long story) and so I sat thinking....Do I need a race to prove I can do this? Would I still be able to check it off my list if I just did it on my own?  This bucket list item started out to be about the race and along this training adventure I have been on I realized that it had nothing to do with the race. I put this item on my list because I thought it was difficult. I thought there is no way I can do that. It had nothing to do with a race and EVERYTHING to do with the voice within me! I wanted to accomplish something that initially I said I can't do!

After 6 1/2 months of hard work and initially not being able to swim more than 1 lap without stopping I can now say.....I AM A TRIATHLETE!!! CHECK :)
I decided that not being able to compete in the race that I wanted to do was not going to stop me from my check mark. I set up a "mock triathlon" at my gym. I started in the pool, did my 1/2 mile swim, changed quickly, hopped on a bike, did spinning/spinning class for 75 minutes, and then hopped on the treadmill for a 5K run! I know I know I didn't actually complete a "real" triathlon yet (in terms of a race against others) BUT what I figured out is IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THEM....IT WAS ABOUT ME!!! So if I am able to complete a race against others it will just be frosting on a great cake! I am proud of my accomplishment this weekend because I told myself that I would beat this thing....and I totally did it (sound familiar....CANCER???) !!!

I would like to take a brief moment now to thank that ugly beast named cancer for helping me to see that I am capable of really anything as long as I want it bad enough....WATCH OUT WORLD BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS NEXT! :)

So to all of you out there struggling with that voice in your head....tell it to take a day off and go out and do what it is you have been telling yourself that you could never do!!! You will be amazed at where a little hard work and some "ME" MOTIVATION will lead you! YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT!!!! GO GET IT :)



Oh by the way, some may be wondering what is next on my list.....Portland Marathon!!! (yikes I know, but its been on my list since I finished chemo and its time I run a race that will remind me very much of my cancer battle!!!) 
What is on your list???? (you can comment below if you want to share) :)

Apparently I am human....

I am a survivor of a disease that kills people on a daily basis. I have seen it over and over. Lives have been cut short and families turned upside down. I have been very open about my journey and all my thoughts after the journey ended. I will be honest yet again.....I often wonder why I didn't die. Hold on don't freak out I am not saying I wanted to die or anything. I am just still plagued by the question of why am I still here???? There are so many women, men, and children leaving this world before their time and I wonder why am I still here??? I have to believe that I am here for some business that is unfinished, right? well my purpose here is yet to be known??? I am thankful that I am here and I honestly strive to make a difference in this world each day that I am blessed to open my eyes. This really is how I live....most of the time.

Today, however, I lost it. I feel as if I have failed a BIG test. I had the chance to prove that I am thankful yet again in the worst of situations, but I FAILED. As a girl who absolutely is driven by competitions I can't forgive myself for breaking down today. Stress has been building in my head for a long while, with the job loss of my husband over 7 mo ago, work, kids, and general life problems. Today I threw a tantrum of sorts and giant pity party. I lost it.....yelled, cried, and completely forgot about all I have to be thankful for. I have PERFECT HEALTH, 2 absolutely amazing children, a husband that has been next to me in some of the worst situations, and a family that is ALWAYS a phone call away. I am telling you this now that my freak out is over because I know many of you out there believe that I am always soooo positive. The truth is most of the time...I AM LIKE THAT. I really do try to find good in everything (literally everything) and I really do work hard to live a purposeful life. there are times I guess that I too am human and have moments when I too need a cheerleader. Today, lucky for me I had just that, a mom and grandma to put life into perspective. Apparently I am human....don't tell anyone. I kind of like everyone thinking I am some superhuman incapable of feeling negative emotions...lol!

I AM a survivor though and I live like one.... I know I am capable of the most difficult things as long as I BELIEVE in myself first. I am going through hell right now, but tired or not being a survivor of cancer has taught me to keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will win. I have climbed much greater mountains than this and I still have this life to live so for me to waste it being upset about the things I cannot change! I can do anything and I really should have the "I'm a survivor" song playing as I walk down the streets.....wouldn't it be awesome to have theme music!!!!

Writing is my balancer these days and I have not been doing enough of it lately so hopefully soon I will get back to the weekly posts....no I WILL get back to them! There it is out there now so I am committed!  Gonna see a little change up for the BW (bald woman) diaries....got some big plans to come!


Just on  a side note....3 years ago today the world lost a wonderful man, father, and grandfather and I will forever miss my grandpa. I learned the true spirit of family from him and I will never forget the wonderful memories I have of him. He will live on in our hearts.... until we meet again ;(

Walk a Mile in my Shoes

Walk A Mile in my Shoes

Walk a mile in my shoes and you'll see what I see
The ups, the downs, what is chained, and what is free

Nobody wants to be in these shoes unless all is going great
You can't walk in them long without seeing all my mistakes

Mistakes I made when planning this great journey on my path
That led me winding up mountains, that increased my time by half

Along the road there were storms that tested these old feet
To see if I'd keep walking or go running off the street

With one foot in front of the other, I moved them everyday
Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but never back the other way

If you walked a mile in these old shoes, you would see they are quite worn out
They are tattered and they are tired from the trials they have run about

Some say there are better shoes out there for the journey that I make
They don't know that my old shoes are perfect for the path I will take

They might not look like much but the walk has made them mine
Every step I take upon them in rain or when shines

They lead me when I am tired and they're molded just for me
They keep me moving forward.... Walk a mile in them and you'll see!

How Holly got her Groove back!

I know I have been in a funk lately and if you have tried to contact me I probably have been very flaky. I am not trying to be but life yet again has thrown some curve balls for me personally, BUT......I finally feel that life is going to pick back up for me and I am getting back into my groove for sure so...I decided today its time for a happy post....the last few have been very somber.

 I have had a very difficult month to say the least. My husband was laid off of his job 6 months ago and despite his thousands of attempts at employment he is still unemployed. Obviously this has been difficult on our family life but then again so was having cancer. I guess i need to give a big THANK YOU to cancer then for putting a little bump like this into perspective. Who would have thought I would be thanking cancer??? But like I always say..."Life has its ups and downs but how we choose to deal with them makes us who we are" and I my friends, know exactly who I am! I am thankful for each and every single day that I am able to be here to make a difference in the lives of my children and anyone else I am blessed to help. Nothing, not cancer, unemployment, or anything else will bring me down again (at least not for long).  

As if unemployment wasn't enough stress to deal with on top of the everyday life stresses, one day I  visit a friend that has cancer who had been battling hard and 4 days later she is gone. The next week was her funeral and just when I think I can't take any more....my grandma takes a decline in health and the next day is gone. It has been difficult around here to say the least. Today though, instead of talking forever about these difficulties that I am facing, I am going to hopefully provide a few laughs to you instead.

When we think of spring break we think of the beach, umbrella drinks, and fun in the sun! Lucky for you I have an alternative if those things don't sound like fun to you......



Top 5 Reasons Why I Love Spring Break:

1. RAIN: It is spring folks....time for rain and growing things and you can't do that without rain. Why can't spring break be in like May???

2. BOREDOM: You know its not a good sign when on Day 1 you hear from your kids, "I'm board can someone come over or something"

3. SLEEPING IN:  Time to sleep in till at least 6:30am! That is my kids NOT me by the way. My day begins at no later than 5:15

4. UMBRELLA DRINKS and VACATION: Yes it is great to watch the facebook posts and pictures of everyone else on their vacations as I sit here with my Bud Light and Hawaiian Radio Station!! Look at all the money I am saving!!

5.  CATCHING UP: Look at all the time I have now for laundry, organizing, and budgeting....oh wait no I don't I have two kids who are board! I think I need a vacation after this "vacation" I am on right now!!


Have a great day everyone and know that we are stronger than we think we are! Time to get my groove back and have a relaxing spring break!!!

Let it Rain

When it rains it pours!  I have to tell you it really has been a tough month for me. Last week I lost a good friend to cancer and today I arrived 1 moment after my wonderful grandma took her last breath. I guess it is appropriate for me today that it is pouring down rain.

My grandma was a kind, gentle, and loving woman. I guess all grandmas are. I think it is in the grandma handbook they give out. I have more memories with her than time to share on this post. For over half of my life she was the only family that lived close to me. We spent every holiday and special occasion with her. My heart hurts so badly with the loss of such a wonderful person here on earth. The only comfort I can seem to get at this point is that now she is at peace and reunited with her loved ones. She went quickly and honestly looked more at peace today after her passing than she did yesterday. I left her home yesterday and knew in my heart somehow that it would be our last time to see each other at least for a while. It hurts badly but I know she is happy and would want us to move through our grief as well.

I sit now and stare at the rain pouring down out my window. I feel as if I have been kicked over and over but I know in my heart that I will keep getting up and keep putting one foot in front of the other. My heart aches for the loss of my grandma, but just as the rain makes things grow..I too will grow. Maybe instead of looking at the rain as something I wish to get rid of today, I should go out and enjoy the wondrous things that we get to see each day that we are blessed to be here! I think it is time for a good run in the rain! I spend too much time worrying about those things I can not change and today I am going to just enjoy what gifts I have been given today!

I hope that today everyone will take one moment out of there days to call someone important to them and share your love. You never know when the last time you talked will really be the "last" time you talk!

Let it rain!!!!