The Ocean

What is it about the ocean that just calms me down. I can be having the worst day, best day, or anywhere in between but feel relaxed listening and watching the waves crash. I love the smells, sounds, and feel of that cool breeze that constantly keeps blowing. Every good vacation must come to end...that is why they call them vacations and not LIFE. Today is back to reality. The bald woman here and my lovely family went to the coast for 6 days. It was not all fun for me because part of this trip (2 days) I was working. I went to training while my husband and kids played endlessly on the beach and in the pool! Training and work barely felt like that though. I was very inspired, challenged to think, and now have returned with many new ideas on how to change the lives of teenagers! That is the main goal of any training I think, so I can actually say it was all fun I guess!

I also did something I have never done before. I went in the pool no wigs or bandanna. It was just "1/2 inch hair woman" (I can't say I am technically bald anymore...although hair or no hair I will always be "The Bald Woman") It was pretty freeing and apart from the training and one dinner the wig was off and I had a hat on. I am on my way to real hair....it has been sooooo long since I have had hair. I am ready to feel wind in it, put it in a pony tail, and curse it to death when I am headed out for the night. I want it to move faster, but one lesson thing to know about cancer is "NOTHING BUT THE CANCER MOVES FAST IN THIS CANCER WORLD" Oh well, all in good time I guess. You lovely ladies with hair be thankful! :)

Well here are the highlights of the Ocean Shores trip!!!!!!

7. Took a four mile run with a great friend right on the beach. I could run there EVERYDAY. I was not as fast as I had hoped but I DID it so I will give myself that credit! On this run we saw about 30 steps away a BALD EAGLE staring at us. It was absolutely amazing!!! Wow to nature. It was so cool to feel a part of nature with the ocean the animals and us there!

6. Sandcastle and sawdust festival. There were some super creative people creating great works of art out of nothing but a square of sand and tree. Wow. It is amazing to see art in progress!

5. Our hotel was the Lighthouse Inn and it had a lighthouse on top of it. Hearing my 2 year old call it "Our Castle" every time she referred to it was pretty funny. "Lets go home to our castle mommy" never got old.

4. Watching my son get so excited to just dig in the sand everyday and occasionally play cooperatively with his sister! They can go from best buddies to beating each other in 10 seconds flat...that is a skill!

3. Spending 3 times more money than we inteded too! This could be because of the $40 sweatshirts we had to purchase for everyone, the overpriced knick knacks, or the overpriced mediocre food (only at a few places- not all). All in the spirit of a good VACATION right!!! :)

2. Stopping 5 times on the way home for potty breaks! on one of the stops we stopped at a small store in the mountain pass. We stopped there a year and half ago after skiing. My husband wanted a drink and only had a card. The guy said it would cost more to run the card in his machine than to just give it to him. He said take it and next time you come through get it back to him. Well we stopped bought a water and suprised hime with the money for the drink he had given him plus a BUNCH of interest. He was thankful, suprised, and hopefully he knows what goes around always will come back around (even if it is years later). He did remember my husband too!

1. The group hug on the beach on the last day. We were thankful to have gone. No matter how many times those beautiful children drove us nuts with fighting, argueing, and being crazy in public we were incredibly greatful that they were ours to have had this great adventure.

I can't call myself cancer free or a survivor yet because the last leg of the journey begins in 45 minutes, but I am thankful to be hear EACH and EVERY day. That will never change no matter if I have cancer or not! Love the life you have and you will have a life to love!!!! Forgot who said it and it may not be exact, but you get the idea!!! Have a great day!

Last Chemo

The day has finally arrived......this is the day I have been focusing on for 5 months. It is crazy! The last treatment that I will EVER receive (I hope)!!!! I have gone through so much and I do still have a small journey left ahead, but the hard work is done. I am so happy I could scream......

Here are the top 10 lessons that I have learned during chemo......

10. Hair today, gone tomorrow. (Hair is just that....hair! You can change it, dye it, or lose it all and you are you at the end of the day. Be thankful for that! Love yourself for who you are on the inside not what you put up on the outside. Then you can work on making the two match up.)

9. Memory is important. (I honestly just forgot what I was going to write after that so I guess....POINT proven)

8. Attitude is everything. (Cancer or no cancer the way you look at things is vital. Those who can see the "half full" side of things will have it way easier. Join us on the "half full side" in finding the good and lessons out of EVERY life situation)

7. People are amazing. (The kindness of strangers and seeing the love of your family and friends everyday is like God patting you on the back and saying "KEEP IT UP". You are all amazing each and everyone of you. You can all rest knowing that you were a part of keeping me going especially when I wanted to stop)

6. Humor and Laughter really are the best medicine. (If I haven't proved this to you yet... nothing will. Laugh everyday!)

5. Be good to others. (Strangers or family, good or bad, we are still people here. Tell people when they are doing something well. We all like to hear it, so give it out too! Be kind to everyone you meet and you'll soon see how much kinder people are to you. Make the first step!)

4. Money and things can't come with you. (Everyone knows this, but needs a reminder now and then. Those things really aren't as important as we think they are at the time!)

3. If you need help...ASK! (This was especially hard for me and I still have to work on this one. If their are people around offering to help..let them. Thanks to my sister for forcing help on me at first and making me learn this lesson no matter what.)

2. Live like your dying. (I know...cheesy, it's a song, but still very true. Even if you only do this for a day...Do it. Look at the world's beauty, say what you need to say, and do what you've been wanting to do. No more road blocks just go after what you want.....Key: You need to know what you want first!!!)

1. Family is everything. (Love your family and count your blessings each day. No matter where your life bends and twists they will be the ones that are there for you! Some are crazy, some are loud, some are just exhausting to be around but they are yours all the same so be happy that your life's not lame!!!!)


Ok better go head off to the last spa day!! You can look at this as I have made it to the top of the mountain and now with the radiation I will be headed down to the other side! Gonna keep posting my crazy Bald Woman stories so don't worry your daily dose of humor will still be in tact!!! Have a TOTALLY AWESOME DAY (Yeah 1985!!)

The Finish Line

The end of the race is getting near
I can see it now and hear the cheer

I am sprinting as fast as can be
trying to get there as if it's chasing me

This line is all that has been in sight
I was focused only on this night

The race was long and wasn't much fun
but these ending moments make it worth the run

Proud of the journey that I have just endured
thankful I am here and hoping I am cured

Now it's time to move on to the next phase
hoping it too will be full of great days

In all great races you learn about yourself
This one was much much more than about health

I am strong, I am proud, and I am living so free
I have finished a great race and the winner was ME!!!!

Friday Fun

Oh boy where do I begin....This weekend was a strange one. Let's just hit the highlights...
First, on Friday we decided to take our turn having a party for the World Cup. We have been rotating through everyone's house since it is a month long. Fine, normally, but as I am sitting at dance class I discover that we have 2 performances on Friday, one in the early afternoon and one at the exact time our party begins. Great, now Bald Woman needs to kick it into overdrive today. The great effects of chemo brain have struck again. I could have sworn it was Saturday... Oh well it will just take a bit of skill in planning it out right! The performances are only a half hour-ish so, "I've got this" I thought to myself. Well then, as if to up the ante, the radiation doc wants to do their 2 hour mapping thing they do prior to radiation. "Of course I can come in first thing" I said clinching my teeth but still smiling. In my head I run down the plan of the day. Drop of kids at in-laws, go to doctor, swing by in-laws grab kids, off to dance performance, go home and feed them, make food for party, clean up house, head off to performance (right when they all start to arrive), and then watch the performance and be back before half time. Sounds like a great well organized plan... right???? Well, we know it wouldn't be on here if it worked so here is how it really went.....

1. Go to doctor (I was drawn on like I was getting plastic surgery with the wonderful black marker that takes forever to come off. Then I got 4 tiny tattoos for the radiation..what a science that is. To make it even better the shirt I had on was a tank top so the BIG marker box drawn on my chest looked great to go in public. Lucky for me they finished early and I ran home across town to attempt to find a shirt to cover it up.)
Doctor....check!

2. Go to performance (To my shock this went pretty good. She danced and the seniors at the Senior Life Show all loved the 2 to 5 year olds dancing to "Single Ladies" No breakout stage mom moments for me either!!!
Performance 1....check (feeling good at this point)

3. Feed Kids (That is just funny to type because they only want to eat things I think they know we don't have. I think it is a joke that someone plays on me each day. They settled for a sandwich and some fish crackers and only after going 2 rounds today...things must be shaping up....yeah right!)
Feed kids...check and check! (OYB)

4. Prep food and clean up (I decided to make some easy recipes so I would not have to take too much time.....3 hours later food is done and house is picked up, twice.)
Food and clean up.....check (getting slower now and less smiley)

5. Hello guests, goodbye guests (off to the performance...Well sort of. Because my long list of activities during the day I left about 15 min late. This should have been fine for me to barely make it because I knew exactly where I was going...NOPE I was wrong. Not only was I wrong I had no idea where I was supposed to be. Chemo brain strikes again! I drive around the east side trying to think of something that will remind me of where we are supposed to be...finally I figure it out. It must have been the people standing outside the mission that were staring at me thinking I was crazy just driving by fifty times that made me think a bit quicker. Turns out it was right next to one of my old work sites....go figure! Then the fun started...I was 15 min late from the time it was supposed to begin. I ran in carrying my 2 year old completely out of breath hanging on to the hope that she was the last dance number so I may still make it. Much to my amazement when I walk in barley able to breathe there was hardly anyone there. I look around and see the girls from the show and follow them to the back dressing room. Confused I ask what is going on. Well we are running 25 or 30 min late. Oh good I thought. NOPE AGAIN!!! This was the JUNETEENTH event and she said it never starts on time. All I could think in my head was that this doesn't sound good! To make things even better they had a fashion show and awards they they so kindly spaced between each dance number....She, the organizer or person in charge would be the better title, told me they should be done by 8! The dance teachers had no clue that they would be setting it up this way either. So.....we watched a very interesting fashion show with large hats and church gear, listened to some great people get some awards for something, and watched our performers go up one by one (mine being.... DEAD LAST)! Oh it was good times at Juneteenth...think I will go again next year! Finally, go back to the party at about 8:00 and tried to be social when my body just was screaming at me that it was not happy with me. I calmed it down by having a nice glass of wine and went to bed around midnight!

The funniest part of this story is that this was only on FRIDAY!!!!! I still had 2 more jam packed days to get through! And they say I have cancer too????? Who knew??

The Fight

Dear cancer you will not win this fight
you will not take ME out tonight

I am ready for you and I am strong
you think your powerful but your wrong

I have the power in this great story
I am the one that will have all the glory

When you picked me you should have thought twice
because I assure you this girl doesn't play nice

So just sit back and get prepared
I am gonna knock you out so you better be scared

This is for all those people you have taken
This is for all those worlds you have shaken

Here is a taste of what you do to others
now stay away from the men, the children, and our mothers

If I see you back here in this body
I will beat you again and you will be sorry

I will cut off limbs to get you out
I will use chemicals and lasers without a doubt

You will never take my heart or my soul
you will never get what makes me whole

I will go rounds with you and never stop
I will win every time and I will be on top

I hope today you have learned something here
you will no longer be getting our fear

Now go away and don't come back
or you'll wish that you were just a heart attack

Day 1 Winner is: BALD WOMAN

Well day one of summer has come and gone...I am a little scared. It will be long one. There will be no relaxing by the pool (mostly because we don't have one) and no perfect little quiet summer. This summer will be anything but quiet. By glancing at the two of them you wouldn't know, but then the shrill that sends shivers up your spine is always only a second away. She has that screech for everything now. We can be in stores, at home, or in a library and it is the same. They argue about EVERYTHING and I am hoping it is only because they need lots of practice for their hugely successful law careers that will help me retire on a tropical island!!!!
It is even more humorous when I can hear them in the other room arguing and they don't know I can hear them.....

D, "I was playing with that"
M, "NOOOOO"
D, "Yes I was"
M, "You are a Smart Alick (her new favorite word)"
D, "No, I'm telling on you right now"
M, "NO I am telling first"
D, "NO I am (getting louder at this point)"
M, "NOOOOOOO" (here comes the shriek)
D, "I am telling before you"
M, "No I am"
D and M in unison, "MMMMOOOOOMMMMMMM!"

This was at 8:30am of day 1.......anyone else scared??????
The wonderful day progressed with eye rolls, attempted escapes from me (the wicked queen) in the library, and No's flowing like water!!!! Some may wonder why I would want to do this, some may wonder if I will last, and some may think I am crazy.....I think, THERE IS NOWHERE ELSE I WOULD RATHER BE! (well maybe a tropical island with a Mai Tai and a massage)

Summer Begins Today!!!

I love to laugh it really makes life much easier when times are hard. I think that no matter what body parts, activities, or how much time you take away from someone that it is a key in dealing with life. You can control laughter when you can't control anything else, you can't take it away when you take away other things, and you can feel better on any given day with a good laugh. That is powerful!
The world needs to laugh more!

Today is the first official day of "School's out and your on your own Bald Woman" (it was too long to put on the calanders, so....) The kids and I are going to have a nice organized summer of activities...That makes me laugh just writing that! We are going to talk about what we want to learn about this summer and try and build some activities around those things. I can't wait to see what they come up with. We may be learning about the history of transformers or why ballerinas dance with tutu's??? Who knows. The troops are quietly eating now, but almost too quiet. That is almost worse than the typical crazyville...too quiet means big mess, broken items, or expensive fixes! My summer of fun has now turned into squeeze in everything you can in a day! I will be juggling Radiation treatments (33 of them to be exact), Workout sessions (gotta keep the chemicals and crap from taking over my body), coaching my son's soccer team (practice and game every week), Tutoring (only form of income on my behalf this summer), Cooking my own meals (WOW this will be crazy), Cleaning my own house (help), and organizing the "Summer of Fun" for the kids. If anyone can do it is The Bald Woman!!! Good thing we have a few vacations planned huh...I am sure those will make for some funny posts too! Let the summer begin................