I have a dream

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
James Dean

This quote always reminds me yet again to live for today and to really follow where my dreams take me. What if you don't know what your dream is? What if you do but talk yourself out of it because of fear? It could be fear of failure or the unknown. We just too often let those dreams go to settle for something else that is ok.

This morning I am envisioning all the directions my life could take at this crossroad that I am on. I have made descions to follow my dream and now I am second guessing it as the time draws near to actually do it. Is this a normal reaction? Does every one's brain do this and run down all the possible things that could go wrong or the ways I could fail? Is what makes us successful in life pushing past those thoughts and fears and doing it anyway? Maybe....

For many years I have been the girl who can't say no. I will do anything to help someone, whether I know them or not. What I have learned in the last few days is this....If you want something, I mean really want it, it can be yours. You have to put in the work and not stop till you get it though. The work may be to focus on the dream and not stop till it is there. My problem has always been this, I over commit. I used to think that I over committed because I was this girl who couldn't say no. I have now learned that is not true. My over commitments are actually a lack of commitment on my part. It sounds strange I know but I will explain. If I load up my plate with an abnormal amount of activities and things to be responsible for then I will always have something to fall on if one fails. My whole life I thought it was because I liked living that busy life, but really was it just a lack of putting everything I had in to one thing?? I have been so afraid to fail at things in life that I loaded up with numerous things to do. This kept me from feeling the failure of one thing because I had so many others going on. Today I sit and wonder if I should change. If we don't change something then we will ALWAYS see the same results. If we can change ourselves, we will see different results. Today I will try (I said try) to make a change. For once I will commit to something with all I have not a portion. If I fail, which I may, then I can always go back to my ways. Today I have a dream and I am going to make it happen.......the rest is still as they say "unwritten"...........................