Our stories may all be different
and our ages are not the same
But now we are all like a team
all playing in the same game.
Our songs we sing all vary
but the tune remains the same
Alone we are but one voice
but together we make a name
We laugh, we cry, we rant and rave
about our latest bolders
We know, we feel, we do our best
to give each other our shoulders
In this room in a circle of hope
in which we are all a part
We create strength and courage
and light to make a start
Some of us can't remember names
and we want some little tricks
We're lucky we have the talent
that can draw us little pics.
Thank you for the laughter
that we share each time
and thank you for the advice recieved
and now I hope that you'll take mine
Live each day to the fullest
and love with all your heart
Smile laugh and appreciate
it is never too late to start
So lets sit here in our circle
lauging about the Days of our lives
Sharing caring and understanding
that we all one day thrive
The Diary of the Bald Woman
Friday, April 30, 2010
4th one down
Well another Thursday down, the fourth of twelve, and another 2am post. I have it down to a science now. I either sleep the first four hours from 10 till 2am or I am not able to sleep till 3 am and sleep till about 7. It is frustrating because I am so tired......
I am tired, but can't sleep
I am frustrated, but feel a calm
Thoughts are racing, but my body won't move
Want to sleep now, but will sleep at noon
No physical pain, but the toll is being taken on my brain
Will write till I am tired or the sunrises, which will come first?
I have one third completed now with the last set of meds and now over the half way point of this entire mental marathon (aka chemotherapy). I look back at what I have already accomplished this far and feel some pride. In the last 6 months I have 3 surgeries, lost every hair on my head, had millions of doctor visits and blood draws, completed 16 weeks of chemotherapy, and still...worked, ran miles, took care of two children under 6, and held on to positivity when some would see no reasons. Clearly, I did not do this on my own and have had the best support system ever. Once in a while though, I think it is OK to pat yourself on the back (without my wonderful sarcasms) and be proud of what you can do if you never stop moving forward! I would not have thought I could handle such difficulties and they are not done yet, but in this reflection tonight I can see I will never stop. I will not stop doing what needs to be done. I am close to hitting that moment where the finish line is in sight for this race. I can't wait.
I have been praying more these days and noticing that in ways I have never dreamed of they are being answered. I have gone to church, but not much lately. I am not sure why you would think I would go more now, but I think I just haven't found that place that I walk in the door and know...that is the right place for me. Don't get me wrong I actually like the church I attend, but occasionally it feels more of a habit than a need to go. For now these 2 or 3am nights seem to work. I am 100% sure that footprints story is happening to me right now though. Where God is walking with me and there are 2 sets of footprints. The times when there are only one, it is not because he has left me it is that is carrying me through the most difficult parts. I really feel the power of this story at this time in my life and I am thankful for the help.
I realize that this early morning post is not filled with the usually hilarious material that I normally do. Every so often I can be a bit serious...I think that personalities name is "Victoria" (she keeps us intelligent and does all the studying for us)! :) OK it s like 3:30am and I maybe finally ready to sleep????
I am tired, but can't sleep
I am frustrated, but feel a calm
Thoughts are racing, but my body won't move
Want to sleep now, but will sleep at noon
No physical pain, but the toll is being taken on my brain
Will write till I am tired or the sunrises, which will come first?
I have one third completed now with the last set of meds and now over the half way point of this entire mental marathon (aka chemotherapy). I look back at what I have already accomplished this far and feel some pride. In the last 6 months I have 3 surgeries, lost every hair on my head, had millions of doctor visits and blood draws, completed 16 weeks of chemotherapy, and still...worked, ran miles, took care of two children under 6, and held on to positivity when some would see no reasons. Clearly, I did not do this on my own and have had the best support system ever. Once in a while though, I think it is OK to pat yourself on the back (without my wonderful sarcasms) and be proud of what you can do if you never stop moving forward! I would not have thought I could handle such difficulties and they are not done yet, but in this reflection tonight I can see I will never stop. I will not stop doing what needs to be done. I am close to hitting that moment where the finish line is in sight for this race. I can't wait.
I have been praying more these days and noticing that in ways I have never dreamed of they are being answered. I have gone to church, but not much lately. I am not sure why you would think I would go more now, but I think I just haven't found that place that I walk in the door and know...that is the right place for me. Don't get me wrong I actually like the church I attend, but occasionally it feels more of a habit than a need to go. For now these 2 or 3am nights seem to work. I am 100% sure that footprints story is happening to me right now though. Where God is walking with me and there are 2 sets of footprints. The times when there are only one, it is not because he has left me it is that is carrying me through the most difficult parts. I really feel the power of this story at this time in my life and I am thankful for the help.
I realize that this early morning post is not filled with the usually hilarious material that I normally do. Every so often I can be a bit serious...I think that personalities name is "Victoria" (she keeps us intelligent and does all the studying for us)! :) OK it s like 3:30am and I maybe finally ready to sleep????
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Good quote of the day
I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
Margaret Thatcher
This is the quote of the day and I love it! I just wanted to keep it in the posts so I wouldn't forget it....
Margaret Thatcher
This is the quote of the day and I love it! I just wanted to keep it in the posts so I wouldn't forget it....
Monday, April 26, 2010
The Chemo Chair
The days are busy the wait is long
you wish that someone had got it all wrong
There are whys and how's and in between
wonder how life could be so mean
Do they understand or even care
watching you sitting in the chemo chair
They ask how you're doing and you can't even say
because life has thrown you a curve ball today
This is the day that your life takes a turn
this is the day from which courage you'll earn
This is not a dream that you've always had
but it is not anything that should make you sad
The chair will give you hope and help you to see
it will help give you strength and let you be free
It sounds like a lot for a "chair" to do
but think about it because there are two
The people you bring with you or even alone
YOU have the power and the power YOU own
Take this opportunity and discover yourself
and make this experience about more than your health
You won't be sorry when you find out
that strength is knowledge turned inside out
No matter with whom or where you sit
YOU will make it if you just don't quit
So sit down and relax, throw away your care
Discover that life is better in the chemo chair
you wish that someone had got it all wrong
There are whys and how's and in between
wonder how life could be so mean
Do they understand or even care
watching you sitting in the chemo chair
They ask how you're doing and you can't even say
because life has thrown you a curve ball today
This is the day that your life takes a turn
this is the day from which courage you'll earn
This is not a dream that you've always had
but it is not anything that should make you sad
The chair will give you hope and help you to see
it will help give you strength and let you be free
It sounds like a lot for a "chair" to do
but think about it because there are two
The people you bring with you or even alone
YOU have the power and the power YOU own
Take this opportunity and discover yourself
and make this experience about more than your health
You won't be sorry when you find out
that strength is knowledge turned inside out
No matter with whom or where you sit
YOU will make it if you just don't quit
So sit down and relax, throw away your care
Discover that life is better in the chemo chair
Superhero
Well the bald woman is doing well on this Monday morning....considering it is Monday.
It has been one of those whirl wind weekends that seems to be over before it has even started. The funny thing is we didn't even have any plans. Busy busy as always but fun. I would have to say for the most part so far with these meds I feel fine. I use that term pretty loosely because I don't remember what fine used to be. I don't really feel affected most days...I feel like I do exactly what I would have normally been doing and occasionally I am more tired than I would like. This experience should make me somewhat of a superhero after right?? I will never be tired, be able to juggle millions of things, and pretty much know i can fight anything....need a superhero name??? Maybe just the Bald Woman with a big BW inside a pink ribbon??? oh this could be fun! Watch out world...the next superhero is stepping up!
I also really hate wigs in the wind!! This is very funny and I am sure you will see a post eventually but I am terrified my wig will fly off in one of our famous wind storms. Time will tell on this one. Still no hair...well maybe a few new guys to group, but nothing to get too excited about. 14 days to fall and 3 weeks and counting and still nothing??? Go figure.
Going to work today to plan a talent show that will happen in two weeks. This should be fun. It is the 2nd annual talent show so it should be a bit easier this year right?
No real crazy stories today...odd I know...I think we were just too busy! Too busy for ciaos...maybe that is the secret to a non-chaotic life...Don't give it any time to get crazy???
It has been one of those whirl wind weekends that seems to be over before it has even started. The funny thing is we didn't even have any plans. Busy busy as always but fun. I would have to say for the most part so far with these meds I feel fine. I use that term pretty loosely because I don't remember what fine used to be. I don't really feel affected most days...I feel like I do exactly what I would have normally been doing and occasionally I am more tired than I would like. This experience should make me somewhat of a superhero after right?? I will never be tired, be able to juggle millions of things, and pretty much know i can fight anything....need a superhero name??? Maybe just the Bald Woman with a big BW inside a pink ribbon??? oh this could be fun! Watch out world...the next superhero is stepping up!
I also really hate wigs in the wind!! This is very funny and I am sure you will see a post eventually but I am terrified my wig will fly off in one of our famous wind storms. Time will tell on this one. Still no hair...well maybe a few new guys to group, but nothing to get too excited about. 14 days to fall and 3 weeks and counting and still nothing??? Go figure.
Going to work today to plan a talent show that will happen in two weeks. This should be fun. It is the 2nd annual talent show so it should be a bit easier this year right?
No real crazy stories today...odd I know...I think we were just too busy! Too busy for ciaos...maybe that is the secret to a non-chaotic life...Don't give it any time to get crazy???
Friday, April 23, 2010
Sleep Deprived
The bald woman never sleeps.....
This will be my biggest complaint at the moment. It is so miserable to not be able to go to sleep for more that 3 or 4 hours at a time. It takes me a few days of this and then just about the time I am sleeping normal again....POW it is time for the next spa visit. They must be putting something in my drinks :)
Overall life is still good. The fence company did right by us and gave us the fence, but now the air conditioner is bad news...That is life I guess one curve ball after another. I am happy anyway. I have a wonderful husband, wonderful children, great friends, and my health...ha ha!
I ran 1.5 miles yesterday without stopping before I went in for treatment. This may not seem like a big feat to anyone else (even me right now) but it is an improvement from my other runs. I have just got back into it. It is hit and miss on if I feel like running each day. I try to listen to myself and if I have the energy I do it if not...oh well. Needless to say I have not been very conssistant due to not feeling well or being tired alot. By the looks of this morning however, I may be able to do that again even today. The tired is really the worst of this stuff. I may have a few new hairs growing, like 3. I check daily to see if it has grown even a 1/2 cm. No dice yet. It took 14 days to fall out, but it's been over 14 days on new meds....where are the long lucious locks????? But having hair again means product, fixing it, and showers that last longer than 5 min...whatever will I do. Better run I hear children stirring in the house...free time offically over! Make it a great day!
This will be my biggest complaint at the moment. It is so miserable to not be able to go to sleep for more that 3 or 4 hours at a time. It takes me a few days of this and then just about the time I am sleeping normal again....POW it is time for the next spa visit. They must be putting something in my drinks :)
Overall life is still good. The fence company did right by us and gave us the fence, but now the air conditioner is bad news...That is life I guess one curve ball after another. I am happy anyway. I have a wonderful husband, wonderful children, great friends, and my health...ha ha!
I ran 1.5 miles yesterday without stopping before I went in for treatment. This may not seem like a big feat to anyone else (even me right now) but it is an improvement from my other runs. I have just got back into it. It is hit and miss on if I feel like running each day. I try to listen to myself and if I have the energy I do it if not...oh well. Needless to say I have not been very conssistant due to not feeling well or being tired alot. By the looks of this morning however, I may be able to do that again even today. The tired is really the worst of this stuff. I may have a few new hairs growing, like 3. I check daily to see if it has grown even a 1/2 cm. No dice yet. It took 14 days to fall out, but it's been over 14 days on new meds....where are the long lucious locks????? But having hair again means product, fixing it, and showers that last longer than 5 min...whatever will I do. Better run I hear children stirring in the house...free time offically over! Make it a great day!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
When it rains it pours
The Bald woman quickly goes back to reality after a wonderful weekend away!
It all started with the air conditioner....it is broken, they didn't come to fix it, and it is like 75 or 80 degrees for the the first time all year. Lucky break huh! After two phone calls and house registering at 77 degrees she felt the makeup melting off her face.
Oh but it's about to get better....... She and her family have been saving for a fence for almost 3 years and finally purchased one.....the fence company however did not send the panels. They sent everything else just not the main portion. Now just like any great story goes, they haven't decided if they will be sending them. She wonders how they can decide weather or not they will give her what she has paid for...isn't that illegal??? Check is cashed but products are not here. She wonders how people can be so heartless? She has told them the story and they don't even seem to care. They must think she is lying, but why she just wants her fence. She fights for life each week why should she have to fight to get something she already paid for? What they must not realize is that she kicks this cancer in the a** each week and has become quite a fighter and will fight for what is right here!!!
That's not all it gets better still......that beautiful 2 year old diva that runs this residence is cranky. well cranky is not really the word....She is in full tantrum mode now. The body is flailing, the screams are going, and she is running away from the bald woman as she is attempting to put her in a brief timeout. She is running pretty fast too! The bald woman has to stop and laugh for second....it looked like a scene from some Nanny 911 or something! :)After the quick laugh she takes the tired toddler to her room to chill out for a few minutes BUT before she can even let her calm herself down...
it gets better ........now that dog again. He must have got some food that fell on the floor after dinner because here is the biggest tallest pile of throw up she has ever seen. No warning on this one better go new carpet shopping soon!
Finally she is able to sit down on the couch and give her thanks for another "action packed day"! She can't wait to close her eyes because tomorrow is a new day full of potential to go either way. Half the excitement is wondering which way it will go!
The moral of the story here is when it rains it pours but we can still have a good laugh the next day! :)
Cancer update: I am feeling pretty good but am getting a bit tired of this allready. Trying to keep spirits high and not think too much about the number of visits I still have to attend (its 10 by the way). Why is it that looking back on things it seems so much easier, funnier, or faster but living through them each day doesn't? I am going to try and focus more on the PINKEST PARTY anyone has ever seen. I am planning a party for summer to celebrate so stay tuned!
Today the daily quote struck me as being really true so I would like to post it in here to share......
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." Robert Frost
Enjoy your days crazy or not. Just remember how funny the story will be tomorrow!
It all started with the air conditioner....it is broken, they didn't come to fix it, and it is like 75 or 80 degrees for the the first time all year. Lucky break huh! After two phone calls and house registering at 77 degrees she felt the makeup melting off her face.
Oh but it's about to get better....... She and her family have been saving for a fence for almost 3 years and finally purchased one.....the fence company however did not send the panels. They sent everything else just not the main portion. Now just like any great story goes, they haven't decided if they will be sending them. She wonders how they can decide weather or not they will give her what she has paid for...isn't that illegal??? Check is cashed but products are not here. She wonders how people can be so heartless? She has told them the story and they don't even seem to care. They must think she is lying, but why she just wants her fence. She fights for life each week why should she have to fight to get something she already paid for? What they must not realize is that she kicks this cancer in the a** each week and has become quite a fighter and will fight for what is right here!!!
That's not all it gets better still......that beautiful 2 year old diva that runs this residence is cranky. well cranky is not really the word....She is in full tantrum mode now. The body is flailing, the screams are going, and she is running away from the bald woman as she is attempting to put her in a brief timeout. She is running pretty fast too! The bald woman has to stop and laugh for second....it looked like a scene from some Nanny 911 or something! :)After the quick laugh she takes the tired toddler to her room to chill out for a few minutes BUT before she can even let her calm herself down...
it gets better ........now that dog again. He must have got some food that fell on the floor after dinner because here is the biggest tallest pile of throw up she has ever seen. No warning on this one better go new carpet shopping soon!
Finally she is able to sit down on the couch and give her thanks for another "action packed day"! She can't wait to close her eyes because tomorrow is a new day full of potential to go either way. Half the excitement is wondering which way it will go!
The moral of the story here is when it rains it pours but we can still have a good laugh the next day! :)
Cancer update: I am feeling pretty good but am getting a bit tired of this allready. Trying to keep spirits high and not think too much about the number of visits I still have to attend (its 10 by the way). Why is it that looking back on things it seems so much easier, funnier, or faster but living through them each day doesn't? I am going to try and focus more on the PINKEST PARTY anyone has ever seen. I am planning a party for summer to celebrate so stay tuned!
Today the daily quote struck me as being really true so I would like to post it in here to share......
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." Robert Frost
Enjoy your days crazy or not. Just remember how funny the story will be tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)