Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I can't think of a more fitting quote today. I feel like I say that all the time! I am, as you may have read, struggling with some choices at the moment. (yes,...still the same choices) My post-cancer head and heart is telling me to do something that I feel at this time is a risk. It may very well be risk worth taking when I look back on this moment....just don't know.
I have finally made a decision that I have been going back and forth over for months. I can't tell you yet... sorry. The way I figure it is that we are here ONE time and we don't know for how long. How many times do we take the risk? I have taken the risk and won. I have also taken the risk and lost. Although each "loss" has brought me to a better place than I was before. If you can take the mindset of "loss" and change it to a "gain" you will never LOSE again! Why has it taken me so long to figure out what I have been telling others for a YEAR!!!? Why is our own advice the most difficult to take? (As the tootsie roll commercial says, "The world may never know")
Risk is only risk if you look at it like a win/lose situation. I really don't do that anymore. I take every loss and make it a learning experience, so I really have no reason to worry. I am, however, a person very afraid to fail. I hate to do things if I know the end result will be me failing. I am not living like that anymore. For some reason it took this long to figure that out, but now...watch out!
The Diary of the Bald Woman
Monday, January 17, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Giving Tree
The Giving Tree is one of the greatest children's books. Those are the only books I read at the moment, so now you know the competition is narrowed a bit. I picked up this book the other day because I love the story. I looked at it from a different perspective today.
The story is about a tree (the parent) and the boy. It shows the full circle of life that we go through in the parent/child relationship. Parents give so much to their children and ask for nothing except happiness in return. We sacrifice, we do without so they can have, and we would give every single thing we have to see them happy.
As a parent myself, I can fully relate to these and don't look forward to the day when my little loved ones grow up and leave me. I also see and appreciate what my parents have done for me. They did everything in this book too. They have seen my poor decisions, my triumphs, and my long periods of being gone. They sacrificed so I could have and they did without so I could have more. I know they would do it again in second too. I would.
What kind of world do you think this would be if we ALL gave more than we took? When I started this blog I was a social services industry worker trying to save the world one child at time. When I got cancer, this huge group of people rallied around me and decided they would carry me through this disease. I was unable to give, but still tried. They didn't care. They did it out love for my family. They changed the course of my life. I learned a lesson in receiving. It felt as if I was being handed strength each time someone did something for me. I got stronger and stronger until there was no way this disease or any for that matter could bring down my spirit. That attitude I had was fed by the giving of others. I know there are others out there suffering through this same fate. My mission is to feed them the strength they need to fight. You don't choose cancer it chooses you! What if we all thought about what WE would want for ourselves and loved ones if this happened??? Would you change anything that you are doing now?
There are many times when I am close to giving up trying to change the community or even world for that matter. Then, someone feeds me the strength I need to keep this going. Thank you to all of those who have responded and forwarded my email to everyone you know. I am so thankful and believe it or not have had some response. It really shows me that WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. Sometimes we just have to do it one person at a time. To see some of these things happening right in front of me....for someone who has so many words about things, I have none.
Parents everywhere today..... I thank you. I thank you for those unthanked days that you gave more than you had to see your child smile. To my own parents: Thank you will never cover what you have done to help me to be happy. With lots of love today I wish all the parents reading a HUGE THANKS!!! Pass on the thanks today! :) check out this book too if you haven't!
By the way, I received the best compliment I have ever received the other day. I was told that I was alot like my grandfather. This brought tears and pride when I read this. My grandfather passed away about a year and half ago, but that is not the reason for the tears. He was a wonderful man and I have actually spoke of him in another post (check like May??). His life was so full. He was full of life, love, and certainly happiness. He gave to his family just as the tree in the book. He gave right up until the day he passed. On his last day he gave me a gift and he received one too. He gave me a lasting memory that will never be erased. He didn't speak but listened for eight hours as dozens of people shared the stories of his life and the impact he had on them. He received his gift hours before he left this world. My gift was to see that we can make an impact while we are here not just the day that we leave. We just need to share with each other the impacts they have made. Wether it is a teacher, parent, family member, friend, or whomever give them the ultimate gift...knowledge that they have changed your life!
You have all changed mine! Thank you for reading, supporting FBW, and helping to bring change to the world. You have impacted my life and given me more reasons to give!!!! Have a wonderful day!! :)
The story is about a tree (the parent) and the boy. It shows the full circle of life that we go through in the parent/child relationship. Parents give so much to their children and ask for nothing except happiness in return. We sacrifice, we do without so they can have, and we would give every single thing we have to see them happy.
As a parent myself, I can fully relate to these and don't look forward to the day when my little loved ones grow up and leave me. I also see and appreciate what my parents have done for me. They did everything in this book too. They have seen my poor decisions, my triumphs, and my long periods of being gone. They sacrificed so I could have and they did without so I could have more. I know they would do it again in second too. I would.
What kind of world do you think this would be if we ALL gave more than we took? When I started this blog I was a social services industry worker trying to save the world one child at time. When I got cancer, this huge group of people rallied around me and decided they would carry me through this disease. I was unable to give, but still tried. They didn't care. They did it out love for my family. They changed the course of my life. I learned a lesson in receiving. It felt as if I was being handed strength each time someone did something for me. I got stronger and stronger until there was no way this disease or any for that matter could bring down my spirit. That attitude I had was fed by the giving of others. I know there are others out there suffering through this same fate. My mission is to feed them the strength they need to fight. You don't choose cancer it chooses you! What if we all thought about what WE would want for ourselves and loved ones if this happened??? Would you change anything that you are doing now?
There are many times when I am close to giving up trying to change the community or even world for that matter. Then, someone feeds me the strength I need to keep this going. Thank you to all of those who have responded and forwarded my email to everyone you know. I am so thankful and believe it or not have had some response. It really shows me that WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD. Sometimes we just have to do it one person at a time. To see some of these things happening right in front of me....for someone who has so many words about things, I have none.
Parents everywhere today..... I thank you. I thank you for those unthanked days that you gave more than you had to see your child smile. To my own parents: Thank you will never cover what you have done to help me to be happy. With lots of love today I wish all the parents reading a HUGE THANKS!!! Pass on the thanks today! :) check out this book too if you haven't!
By the way, I received the best compliment I have ever received the other day. I was told that I was alot like my grandfather. This brought tears and pride when I read this. My grandfather passed away about a year and half ago, but that is not the reason for the tears. He was a wonderful man and I have actually spoke of him in another post (check like May??). His life was so full. He was full of life, love, and certainly happiness. He gave to his family just as the tree in the book. He gave right up until the day he passed. On his last day he gave me a gift and he received one too. He gave me a lasting memory that will never be erased. He didn't speak but listened for eight hours as dozens of people shared the stories of his life and the impact he had on them. He received his gift hours before he left this world. My gift was to see that we can make an impact while we are here not just the day that we leave. We just need to share with each other the impacts they have made. Wether it is a teacher, parent, family member, friend, or whomever give them the ultimate gift...knowledge that they have changed your life!
You have all changed mine! Thank you for reading, supporting FBW, and helping to bring change to the world. You have impacted my life and given me more reasons to give!!!! Have a wonderful day!! :)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Balancing Act
More and more I see that life is the greatest balancing act. One tip in the wrong direction will send you flying. We are constantly trying to walk a line of balance. We often fall from it and then try and move ourselves back as quickly as we can. We don't like being off balance. I think we really internally want to balanced but do not always know where that line is. Much of what we do is trail and error to find that line. What I love the most is the uniqueness of our lines. Each of us draws our own line and decides where it is.
Think about it. We need to have pride in ourselves, but not too much. We want the line of confidence but not so much that we become arrogant. We want to become prosperous in our finances but what do we have to give up to be there. We want the perfect environment, but it is always too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. We want enough to eat but health often disagrees. We want our kids to be grateful but also want to give them everything we never had. We want to learn but don't always know how. We want to see the view from the top but often quit before we get there.
We can be a society of over indulgences and instant gratification. This may or may not be a problem for people, it depends on your own lines. To me, I am pushing my line over a bit. I am thankful for what I have instead of pining over what I don't. Just a day of reflections about what is important on my line!!! Where is yours?
Think about it. We need to have pride in ourselves, but not too much. We want the line of confidence but not so much that we become arrogant. We want to become prosperous in our finances but what do we have to give up to be there. We want the perfect environment, but it is always too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. We want enough to eat but health often disagrees. We want our kids to be grateful but also want to give them everything we never had. We want to learn but don't always know how. We want to see the view from the top but often quit before we get there.
We can be a society of over indulgences and instant gratification. This may or may not be a problem for people, it depends on your own lines. To me, I am pushing my line over a bit. I am thankful for what I have instead of pining over what I don't. Just a day of reflections about what is important on my line!!! Where is yours?
Friday, January 7, 2011
Fear
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
Bill Cosby
What a wonderful quote of the day! I love this because this is my life right now. I have been wrestling with a big decision for some time now and each time I feel I have the answer I realize I really am not ready. I could not figure out why I was not ready....it's fear. I am more afraid of my choice and it's actions than I feel I need to do it. Well that stops now! I am done with fear!
Fear drives us. We base many choices on fear. It is time, at least for me, to move out fear. I am taking my life back. I am going to do what I have wanted to do, see the world, and worry less! We are here for an undetermined amount of time. That clock could run out today or 50 years from now. With the new year and new attitude I want to worry less and enjoy more.
Bill Cosby
What a wonderful quote of the day! I love this because this is my life right now. I have been wrestling with a big decision for some time now and each time I feel I have the answer I realize I really am not ready. I could not figure out why I was not ready....it's fear. I am more afraid of my choice and it's actions than I feel I need to do it. Well that stops now! I am done with fear!
Fear drives us. We base many choices on fear. It is time, at least for me, to move out fear. I am taking my life back. I am going to do what I have wanted to do, see the world, and worry less! We are here for an undetermined amount of time. That clock could run out today or 50 years from now. With the new year and new attitude I want to worry less and enjoy more.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Change the world
Today is like any other day. I get up before the sun, make lunches, make breakfast, make sure everyone knows what is happening for the day, make sure everyone has the correct items for school, and make the house look like a house (even if it's for a moment). I do this everyday and hope I can squeeze a few moments in for that big new year's resolution....marathon training.
At times I think I am crazy and I tend to take on too many projects, but I am just like every other mother in this world. I over commit, have too many unpaid jobs, and never enough time. I am just a mom, wife, and person trying to make others lives better! That is what we do as moms.
I have been thinking alot about a very large scale community project. This will take more time than I have to give and definitely more resources than I have. I decided to trust in a little luck, lot of hard work, and faith in good people. I am shocked that in less than one day the response is more than I expected. I usually have huge expectations of people. I feel like all people should care about others in need and all people should want to help others (because what if that was them in the situation??). The sad but true reality is that all people do not want to help. It could be for good or bad reasons, but all people are not going to see the huge need of things. This makes me disheartened at times, but in the last few days I have decided to take my own advice (I know, I know, but why is that so hard???) If I can change it then I will change it, and if not...well try something else. We can't expect to see a change if we ourselves don't make one.
I am in a new year and will have a new attitude. I can't change every single person in the world's opinion at the same time. I will, however, try one person at a time to make a change. No major changes have ever occurred in one day, have they??? When I was young my mom and dad told me that I could do anything I wanted if I put my mind to it. I used to think that was just something that parents said to try and get the best performance out of their children. I know now that I can. I have done things that I didn't believe I could do. I have changed a few attitudes that I did not think could change. I know that with the right attitude....well lets just say crazier things have happened. There are others that feel the same way. I know this because I have talked to a few of them. Now the key is to get all of these people together and we can make a difference in this world one person at a time!
I believe I can change the world. Do you???
At times I think I am crazy and I tend to take on too many projects, but I am just like every other mother in this world. I over commit, have too many unpaid jobs, and never enough time. I am just a mom, wife, and person trying to make others lives better! That is what we do as moms.
I have been thinking alot about a very large scale community project. This will take more time than I have to give and definitely more resources than I have. I decided to trust in a little luck, lot of hard work, and faith in good people. I am shocked that in less than one day the response is more than I expected. I usually have huge expectations of people. I feel like all people should care about others in need and all people should want to help others (because what if that was them in the situation??). The sad but true reality is that all people do not want to help. It could be for good or bad reasons, but all people are not going to see the huge need of things. This makes me disheartened at times, but in the last few days I have decided to take my own advice (I know, I know, but why is that so hard???) If I can change it then I will change it, and if not...well try something else. We can't expect to see a change if we ourselves don't make one.
I am in a new year and will have a new attitude. I can't change every single person in the world's opinion at the same time. I will, however, try one person at a time to make a change. No major changes have ever occurred in one day, have they??? When I was young my mom and dad told me that I could do anything I wanted if I put my mind to it. I used to think that was just something that parents said to try and get the best performance out of their children. I know now that I can. I have done things that I didn't believe I could do. I have changed a few attitudes that I did not think could change. I know that with the right attitude....well lets just say crazier things have happened. There are others that feel the same way. I know this because I have talked to a few of them. Now the key is to get all of these people together and we can make a difference in this world one person at a time!
I believe I can change the world. Do you???
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year with a new attitude
Well the buzz of the holiday season is now in the past. The decor is gone and organization mode is in full swing. I am now on a mission to not only organize my house but my mind too!! This is my new year's resolution. I hope it will last more than a week.
I have another resolution this year because I am such an "over-achiever"! I am going to run a full 26.2 mile marathon on June 25th. I have barely started training but have about 25 weeks to this...easy, right??! I have done a half marathon and it was tough, so I have to admit that I am a bit nervous! Oh well won't be the first or last time that I have attempted something very difficult. This race has HUGE significance for me too. It will be exactly 1 year and 1 day after my last chemo treatment! What a difference a year can make. One year you are pumping yourself full of toxic chemicals to kill things in your body. The next year, you are pumping Gatorade through your body to replace what has been lost on the run....crazy to do both really! :)
The new year brings me new mountains to climb, a new attitude, and a new opportunity to make this a memorable year.
I fully intend to make a mark this year.......so watch out world!
I have another resolution this year because I am such an "over-achiever"! I am going to run a full 26.2 mile marathon on June 25th. I have barely started training but have about 25 weeks to this...easy, right??! I have done a half marathon and it was tough, so I have to admit that I am a bit nervous! Oh well won't be the first or last time that I have attempted something very difficult. This race has HUGE significance for me too. It will be exactly 1 year and 1 day after my last chemo treatment! What a difference a year can make. One year you are pumping yourself full of toxic chemicals to kill things in your body. The next year, you are pumping Gatorade through your body to replace what has been lost on the run....crazy to do both really! :)
The new year brings me new mountains to climb, a new attitude, and a new opportunity to make this a memorable year.
I fully intend to make a mark this year.......so watch out world!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Top 10 for the Holiday Season
Wow I can't believe Christmas has now come and gone. It was such a quick but wonderful few days of celebrations. We had so much to be thankful for this year.
Here are my top ten highlights of the holiday season......
10. Snowboard Trip: Finally a light bulb clicked in my head! I finally did it with minimal falls and no broken bones or even bruising! This for me is a HUGE feat! As I rode down my last run of the day (it was blue by the way!) I had not even fell down once. I decided to yell over to my husband who was next to me at the bottom of the mountain. I yelled, "HEY! I made it to the bottom of the mountain without FaaaaaaaLINGGGGGGGG!" And.... BOOM... fell right there as I neared the base of the mountain (right next to a sign that read: SLOW!)
9. The Dogs: Well after that great snowboard trip I returned home to yet another lesson in 'Stuff is just Stuff'! The cute cuddly puppy ATE my couch! Not just chewed but shredded a part of my couch! Oh the memories of Christmas!
8. The Wallet: It is Christmas should I really elaborate much more on this??? I guess I could just look at it as a wallet clean out, so when I get some money again I will be able to buy a new one!!!!!
7. The Food: What a great holiday for over-eating, too much junk, and way too many leftovers! The food was good but the extra unwelcome pounds are really not!
6. The Sales: Here is my new plan, we don't celebrate Christmas till Dec 27 next year. That will give us one full day to go and shop the same exact things that we would have bought before Dec 25 at 50% OFF! It is funny how every store now has their LOWEST PRICES EVER sale after people buy way too much stuff at their LOWEST PRICES EVER SALE!
5. The Decorations: The lights, the tree and red and green decor that were once so excitedly put up is piled one by one into a box to look at again in a year. I think we need a year to have the energy to do this all again!
4.The Family: Anytime a family gets together the music is loud, food is good, and people....well they are crazy!!!! I love the big get together but even more than that I love that feeling when every guest has left. It is a sit on the couch and let out a big sigh....we did it kind of feeling!
3. The resolutions: We all make them. What will it be losing weight, budgeting better, organizing your place or mind, or eating healthier? We are so lucky there are places putting everything for those resolutions on sale or gyms running specials! Will you keep them though, that is the question!
2. My husband: The date day snowboarding and the Christmas shopping together were great. I am so thankful that he is such a wonderful father and husband. We got to spend 5 days in a row with him and enjoyed each one of them. Now if he would just cut that hair!!!! :)
1. My kids: This by far is the greatest thing about the holiday season. The best part of this crazy money filled holiday season is by far the look on their faces Christmas morning looking at presents and the wonder that they show when they see an empty cookie plate! At the end of the day that smile, the thank yous, and the hugs make all of this craziness worth it. And think about it...in 363 more days till we do it all again!
Here are my top ten highlights of the holiday season......
10. Snowboard Trip: Finally a light bulb clicked in my head! I finally did it with minimal falls and no broken bones or even bruising! This for me is a HUGE feat! As I rode down my last run of the day (it was blue by the way!) I had not even fell down once. I decided to yell over to my husband who was next to me at the bottom of the mountain. I yelled, "HEY! I made it to the bottom of the mountain without FaaaaaaaLINGGGGGGGG!" And.... BOOM... fell right there as I neared the base of the mountain (right next to a sign that read: SLOW!)
9. The Dogs: Well after that great snowboard trip I returned home to yet another lesson in 'Stuff is just Stuff'! The cute cuddly puppy ATE my couch! Not just chewed but shredded a part of my couch! Oh the memories of Christmas!
8. The Wallet: It is Christmas should I really elaborate much more on this??? I guess I could just look at it as a wallet clean out, so when I get some money again I will be able to buy a new one!!!!!
7. The Food: What a great holiday for over-eating, too much junk, and way too many leftovers! The food was good but the extra unwelcome pounds are really not!
6. The Sales: Here is my new plan, we don't celebrate Christmas till Dec 27 next year. That will give us one full day to go and shop the same exact things that we would have bought before Dec 25 at 50% OFF! It is funny how every store now has their LOWEST PRICES EVER sale after people buy way too much stuff at their LOWEST PRICES EVER SALE!
5. The Decorations: The lights, the tree and red and green decor that were once so excitedly put up is piled one by one into a box to look at again in a year. I think we need a year to have the energy to do this all again!
4.The Family: Anytime a family gets together the music is loud, food is good, and people....well they are crazy!!!! I love the big get together but even more than that I love that feeling when every guest has left. It is a sit on the couch and let out a big sigh....we did it kind of feeling!
3. The resolutions: We all make them. What will it be losing weight, budgeting better, organizing your place or mind, or eating healthier? We are so lucky there are places putting everything for those resolutions on sale or gyms running specials! Will you keep them though, that is the question!
2. My husband: The date day snowboarding and the Christmas shopping together were great. I am so thankful that he is such a wonderful father and husband. We got to spend 5 days in a row with him and enjoyed each one of them. Now if he would just cut that hair!!!! :)
1. My kids: This by far is the greatest thing about the holiday season. The best part of this crazy money filled holiday season is by far the look on their faces Christmas morning looking at presents and the wonder that they show when they see an empty cookie plate! At the end of the day that smile, the thank yous, and the hugs make all of this craziness worth it. And think about it...in 363 more days till we do it all again!
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